I found this from an article in The Atlantic. Rabbi Gil Steinlauf, the senior rabbi of Adas Israel Congregation in Washington, D.C., which is the largest Conservative movement-affiliated synagogue in the nation's capital, came out as gay a few days ago, during the High Holidays. His story hit home because it is similar to mine: married 20 years with 3 children, and finding it intolerable to continue living in the closet. In his letter to the congregation, he cited a passage from traditional Talmudic texts that also struck home: It is nothing less than tragic that a 20-year marriage is ending, but doing the right thing often involves an irrevocable decision that will end the lie...
Hi GW Thanks for posting this interesting article, even though his story ends in sadness I hope it encourages others in a similar situation to find the strength to be open and honest with their wives no matter what the outcome. Rabbi Gil Steinlauf’s observation that “Ultimately, the dissonance between my inside and my outside became undeniable, then unwise, and finally intolerable” is something I’m sure all of us older married guys have felt as we struggle to be honest with ourselves. SGG
I think these situations are hard enough but in our community, there is so much pressure on a Rabbi and it must have been so hard for him to come out. It inspires those of us who are 'just married with kids' and not pillars of the community to perhaps be brave when the time is right to tell our spouses...
I can't possibly imagine the fear, embarrassment, sadness and yes, even the excitement inherent in the possibility of becoming who he is. It is such a public event, all the more remarkable for having done it!
A message to married men - there was a British man who went to Morocco to visit his partner and was jailed for "Homosexual acts" he was released this week and came home to the UK. I dont really want to comment on that but the scene at the airport with his children and ganchildren all saying they support him. An example of how families can still stay friendly even when one person has a same sex relationship. Maybe this brings a bit of hope to some families on this site.
Wow, Mr. Whale...what a fascinating story! It's always interesting to me when these figures come out of the closet, and I always wonder what it was that brought them out finally...I love that in this case, it was his faith, his reading of the Talmud, that did it.
Wise words from that rabbi. I'd even be willing to say they don't justapply to gay, longtime married men. Really, they apply to anyone who is hiding what they really are. I think I'm currently stuck somewhere between undeniable and unwise on my gender and sexuality, but I'm certain that'll change.
I remember when I was going to college, the university conservative rag put out a full anti-gay issue. Every article was anti-gay, seriously. Any way there was a big kerfuffle and eventually there was a pro-gay (or at least anti anti-gay) rally on the steps of Harvard Memorial Church--and then the crowning moment, which was not at all planned, came: the minister of Harvard Memorial Church, the Plummer Professor of Christian Morals, came out on the steps of the church. And this was over 20 years ago--it was wild!!
I really enjoy reading stories like this. It is really an example for everyone struggling with the same internal conflict. I hope he is able to navigate the next few years having come out with an equal amont of confidence for which he had to come out in the first place.
He might be one of those rare religious folks who actually has a spiritual path, and realizes that whatever the Divine may be, it is not limited by what scribes have cobbled together over thousands of years and written down in musty old books.
you do realize that this passage of Leviticus speaks about temple prostitution and not homosexuality?
