I am shaken to my core as my first thought today (after waking up) was damn I woke up. It just struck me so hard. I haven't been thinking any thoughts of suicide. I am in a bad state for sure. I know I'm overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts but , wow, I'm just shaken up by it. I start therapy next week but it scared me so bad that I called and got in tomorrow. ugh, I want to throw the grenade but now I'm scared I held it too long. so scared.
*hugs*. You did the right thing by reaching out on here and scheduling your therapy for sooner. I would suggest talking to the professional crisis counselors on https://www.imalive.org/ It is a support chatline for people dealing with suicidal thoughts or feelings. They are trained to know how to help people in that area so they will have suggestions to help you get through until therapy. *hugs*. Hang in there. I've been where you are and you can make it through this. You are strong.
I'm glad that you decided to share here! I do know this feeling well and it definitely helps to talk and write it out. It's a day by day struggle, for sure. Please keep talking! (*hug*)
Bless you, I remember this feeling well. It will get better, just take it one day at a time. It makes me so sad that we feel like this because of our sexuality. It's such a stupid reason to dislike someone. I have friends that are married to complete bastards but I don't judge that friend. Why do people judge us? Stay strong and keep posting that's what I did. I'm off the anti depressants now believe me it will get better. (*hug*) oh and the counsellor is a good call. Massive help to me. X
I'm glad you can talk to a counsellor soon. I was there as well when I couldn't shake the feeling how much better it'd be if I wasn't alive. It scared the **** out of me. Now I'm here 11 months later and things are much better for sure. I wouldn't say you held the grenade too long though. We are all different and have our own pacing. Even plants do, you know. :icon_wink I made a mistake and sowed daikon radishes in the spring with other radishes. I didn't know it will bolt to seed if planted in the spring. Sowing in the late summer is the right season for daikon... Now your time has come, time to face the inevitable. I know it's hard and that you're scared but I'm sure you can do this! Feel free to post more, we're here for you. (*hug*)
Hi, Welcome. I know what you are talking about. I am down the road a bit from you. In hindsight coming out was easier than i had built it up to be. Post coming out and rebuilding a bit more difficult. What i found is that you are not holding a grenade but rather a key. In our fear and anxiety we mistake it for a grenade. Therapist is great idea. They can guide you, clear your vision. I have a counselor and asked for a referal to a gay therapist, which I was given. Always keep in mind if therpist is not being useful you can switch. In addition post here, make gay friends and ga-friendly friends to talk with. Many here know your feelings. Tom
