Tired of fighting, tired of divorce!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can completely sympathise with what you are going through; but no need to look back. Keep looking ahead and know you are going to get through it. Try and ignore the negative sentiment, and stay focused on gaining your independence.

 

You shouldn't let it overwhelm you. It will get better, unlike what woud have happened if you stayed.

 

You have to ask yourself what he would have taken if you had stayed with him too. Living a lie takes away something that cannot be quantified and it's important to focus on that when everything is so hard.

In bitterness people react and try to grasp at power. It's a silly game that has no winners, but he clearly can't see that. As hard as it may be Penpal, you have to keep walking up that down escalator. Looking back hands more power to him and reduces something inside of you.

I know these words don't change things or mend a fractured situation, but we are doing exactly what it says in your signature. We will stand by you and I hope that gives you just a little bit of hope.

(&&&)

 

A friend of mine just went through an incredibly bitter divorce. I've never seen him so low as this past summer. Now the dust has settled and the sun is breaking through. Sure, he is a little financially strapped, but he can now finally live the life he wants with the person he loves. His relationship with his kids is still very strong and the ex even seems to be moving on. Just remember the old saying, "it's darkest before the dawn." Come here and talk when you feel your worse. That's what I do.

 

Oh penpal, penal, penpal. Better days are coming.

In the meantime, here's my suggestion for a bit of instant relief.

Go outside - somewhere a bit secluded - and scream at the top of your lungs. I'm not kidding. I did this once when I had to work on the weekend and my idiot coworkers were driving me crazy. So out to the parking lot I went and "Aaaaaahhhh!" Felt better right away. Nevermind the women who came out of the building and thought I was being murdered but, hey...

I've never had to do it again but I swear I can't believe how much better it made me feel.

 

Been thru this. It is hell now but it will get better. Sometimes it's dealing w/ 1 minute at a time. It's tough but try not to let him see how much he is hurting you.
You need a ball- crushing lawyer that will let him know you won't put up with his crap.
It's really really hard but don't let fear control you. Don't give him any power. Just because he threatens to take stuff/kids? away does not mean he can. Be strong.
(*hug*)

 

Stay strong and take one day at a time. You have made the right choice and things will get better. If I can be any help please let me know xxxx

 

This is precisely what he wants. To exhaust you, to humiliate you to the point that you tell yourself that you're not worth it. I know how emotionally exhausting it can be, to fight for what is right. No matter how tired you get, however, it is still the right thing to do.

There are times when it is just necessary to fight, when you simply have no choice. We've been there and it really is a finite situation. Draw your strength from wherever you can including us.

 

Here's something I see...even through your fear, you're fighting, you're making an effort, for you, for your children...that's a GOOD thing! People are gonna be against you, but there's a lot that are FOR you. You're NOT alone. HANG IN THERE, DON'T GIVE UP! (*hug*)

 

We're all here on the Internet, on this site, on your browser, on your smartphone, in your pocket while you're at your meeting. A couple of dozen of us at least, so, what's that? 25 against one? We've got your back, sista!

 

Penpal, i wont say i know how you feel but i am going through a rather acrominous divorce with a kid involved and the ex has mental health issues. all i can say is that i look forward to being free and with my kid. look forward to whatever prize you can see on the other side. eyes on the prize i guess.(*hug*)

 

So sorry to hear you going through all this. As tough as it is, try to keep your eyes looking to the future. It will be over. Sadly he's projecting his pain onto you. It's not fair of him to do that to you but you will get there. (((hugs)))

 

Hey, I agree with what "really" said . Just keep that at the forefront . I'm a pretty decent fighter too so...I got your back for what it's worth.

 

Hi,

Just want to remind you... Why did you marry? Why are you divorcing? Was it ever about money? Why make it about money now?

This is good advice whether taken as advice or theology;

Just a thought...

 

I hope that your mediation meeting went well. To my mind there are guidelines and safeguards concerning the division of assets and what it is you are able to live on. I hope that the mediator is/was as impartial as he or she is supposed to be. Their job is to make the best of a bad situation, the job of the judiciary is to ensure that there is a just division of responsibilities with regard to the raising of children.

It's OK to cry...far better to feel than to go numb. You know, rationally, that no agency or settlement will deprive you of your children if you have properly taken care of them. Even after a divorce, I can only assume that he will have obligations of support. What specifically is causing you such distress with regard to that, and what, specifically does he want that is causing such acrimony?

 

Mel this is him lashing out its hard but he can't tae everything from you know thAt

Your best thing I did was block my wife on my iPhone and other devices such as cacebokl etc. texts just make it nasty. I suggest you do this if you haven't already my stress levels in the last two weeks have come down massively. He will still be able to contact you via voicemail if he needs too. This really does help if he being a dick ignore if it's essential you talk then you can respond seriously a miracle happened when I did this

Love ya Mel message me anytime xx

 

I understand how u feel about this n how tiring it is this way. I hav a crush on one of my best friends n i was just having a chat wif her when she suddenly told me she confessed to a guy who was a dick to her but he changed n as she told me this i felt stupid n like a total dumbass n i just wanna run away from all this. But please do watever it is that is right to u. Everyone has a right for themselves. Be strong and its never wrong to shed a tear once in a while everyone needs it