I am 46 years old and I came out about five years to family and friends...but one foot remained in the closet in regards to my church. I was straddling between both worlds. As a member of the Church, I was a children's Bible class teacher (with an eight-year-old nephew) and youth group volunteer (with a 14-year-old niece). But...recently my pastor noticed the rainbow ring I began wearing a few months ago and all hell broke loose. I was confronted by my pastor, youth pastor, and one of the elders of my church. But, rather than speak to my sexuality, they blindsided me with my differing doctrinal beliefs and informed me I would no longer be a considered a member of the Church, be able to teach Bible class, or volunteer with the youth group. This has been my first experience with an overt act of discrimination against me due to my sexuality.
Looks like it's time to find a new church, not all are that way. I know it's hard to leave something so spiritually ingrained but I've seen it many time. In my experience the friends of mine that went through this were happier in their new church, one woman friend got ordained as a minster.
That is horrible. There are plenty of open and affirming churches that would love to have you as a member and a youth group volunteer. Have you ever been to gaychurch.org. It is a really good site for information onv open and affirming churches. I know the way that my church treated me, helped with me losing my faith. I can't be a Christian again at least yet. Before careful with your life and faith, but know that there are churches out there who will love and embrace you no matter your sexuality.
You should be happy to be considered "no longer a member of the church" full of homophobes and bigots who run the place. You have not said where you live, but churches are a dime a dozen around here, and a lot of them participate in the annual Pride Parade and are actively welcoming new gay members. You should not find it too difficult finding one which will accept you as you are, not as you aren't. Since Hell broke loose in the other church, you should be happier where the focus is on Heaven instead.
As many of the posters before me have indicated, your new church - when you find the community that is right for you - will benefit, while your old church - too mired in dogma - will suffer the loss. If you believe that God created you then you must believe he created you to be exactly who you are. Go to the church that will embrace God's creation.
I'm interested to know how you feel about everything that's happened Calvin. I imagine it feels pretty devastating to be disowned by the Church that has been a significant part of your life. You've clearly invested a lot of time and energy into different activities for young people and it's a real shame that doctrinal belief (blind adherence to the word, in my opinion) is being placed above a warm human/Christ like response. Others have suggested finding a more accepting congregation, but I'm wondering how you feel about that? Maybe you can say more.
PatrickUK has a point. Maybe you could try to talk to him. Otherwise, try to find an accepting church. I'm sorry about this. I wish you best of luck.
As an ordained, interfaith minister and long time interfaith church board member, I find it saddening when alleged Christians respond in such a way. They clearly do not understand the teachings of Christ and his ministry. Sadly, churches are made up of people and are imperfect and many of them exist one the shoulders of people too busy polishing their own halos. I would say that you have lost nothing, Calvin. You will find a faith community that will be a better environment for you, if you feel you need one.
I'm so sorry. It's just sad and there's not really anything you can do. I don't agree that you've lost nothing. These are relationships with people you've spent time cultivating and growing, and that's all been ripped away by ignorance and hatred. I'm not out to anyone yet, and do attend a church regularly. I'm not exactly sure how they'd respond if I came out openly, other than I am fairly sure it would fall well short of supportive. I'm contemplating letting go and removing myself from this church but it's hard. These are people I like and care about, even if some not small percentage of them could not bring themselves to be supportive of a gay individual. I do hope you can try to find a more accepting church, and I think something like that could, eventually, lead to an even more fulfilling and supportive experience where you can fully be yourself.
In my church this Sunday, the gospel lesson was from Matthew 5, "blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake...." I couldn't help but think of all who are persecuted within the church, for seeking to live authentically as the person God created them to be. I have learned the hard way that I cannot be in right relationship with people if I cannot even be in right relationship with myself. I hope that you find the courage to stand in the face of misunderstanding and prejudice. You are not alone. Blessing to you.
