OK, quick back story first...I am 38 years old, gay, married to my wife for 10 years now with 3 kids. I came out to her about 2 1/2 years ago. She has been telling me to come out for a while now. I have been giving it some real thought and as much as I like the idea of finally being out of the closet, it scares the crap out of me. My wife an I are committed to making our marriage work and remain monogamous. However, it still feels lonely being in the closet where only my wife and a couple friends know. I have gone as far as dropping some hints that I am gay to get the feeling of the response I would get. Now here is the mind blowing twist part....! Today my brother who is 3 years older married with 3 kids posted a picture of himself on Facebook in full drag. My heart dropped. I was OMG my brother is gay too! Or at least a serious cross dresser. The first thing I did was call my wife to see if I should call my brother. And, if he was gay, I would have to tell him I was gay too. My wife was going to call his wife and do the same. He didn't answer his phone, so I sent him a text saying "it looks like he needs someone to talk to" and to call me. He texted back "HaHa, it was a photoshop he took with an app for his phone for Halloween". OK, I worked in IT for some time. This was no photoshop picture. I replied that either way it did not matter and if he needed someone to talk to, to please call me. Then I said I thought this was his way of coming out on Facebook. He just said "OK, thanks. I will call you later". Umm, no straight man would not immediately respond something along the lines of "I'm not gay". This is still breaking news and not sure where it is going to lead. But, I would not be a very good brother if I did not tell him about my secret as well. Also, if he is gay, his wife is going through the same hardship as my wife. I have already made it clear to my wife she could tell my sister-in-law I am gay too. They will at least have someone to talk to. I am still not sure how I feel about this. I am nervous as can be right now. It can be a matter of minutes now until I am out to my entire family. This is going to be an all or nothing situation. Because my brother decides to out himself to the whole world on Facebook he came out with such force he is going to blow my closet door off the hinges. While I am nervous, if it ends up really being some kind of a joke (highly doubt it), I think I would actually be sad the window (or closet door if you will) for me to come out will be closed.
First off, breathe. It may be just a Halloween costume, and if he is gay at least it will take some pressure off of you. I know full well the road you are on and the roller coaster of emotions that can send you into a tail spin. I am 39 and vame out to the world this year, my wife was the first to know then my children. It seemed at times the whole world was gay, but alas it wasn't true. I think I was looking for others like myself in every mannerism in every person I saw. But for now concentrate on YOU and your inner gay, and how you are going to deal with your own issues that will arise in the immediate future . It's going to be rough bro, keep your wife close . If she is anything like my ex wife you will need her support. As of now my ex wife and soon to be husband are very close friends and that is what we all need a support system. And be mindful of her emotions .....
Snobird, yes take some deep breaths. We are with you and are sending you every possible amounts of love and support. It sounds as your wife is supportive so lean on her in your coming out. I would like to suggest that you come out and be free no matter what your brother decides to do. If hs is serious, you may just show him the way. No matter what happens or what you decide we are here to listen. Please let us know how it goes. (*hug*)
Well, it ended up being a reality. My brother was cross dressing. My wife called his and said something along the effect of he wasn't the only from the family living in the closet. Now my brother and sister in law both im gay. It would appear that if he in fact does come out to everyone it will be brought along for the ride. It feels good finally coming out to a close family member. Lets see where this takes us. We are actually going to meetup tonight to talk about things. I am actually thinking we should go to the local gay bar to talk. WOn't have to worry about others hearing so much, and it would feel good going out to a gay venue with my brother. No more hiding who we are inside.
