Today's stats: 1 plus point, 1 minus point :P

Hello, everyone,
I chose to be optimistic so I start with the plus point, okay?

I'm going to a stadium to watch a sport event and what I did is that I placed an ad on a dating site to ask if someone else is also going and wouldn't join me for dinner afterwards. Well, I know it's nothing huge but for me it's actually the very first time I made an attempt to speak with other lesbians irl. Now I'm a little nervous that someone might actually reply :lol: I think the chance is rather small though but the good thing is that I feel more comfortable about meeting other people from the LGBT community and stuff.

Now to the minus point. Ugh.
Me and my mum were watching a cooking program on the TV. One of the contestants was a girl who seemed to be a lesbian. First my mum asked if they was male or female... I really really didn't like the tone of her voice when she asked that. Later she made a not nice comment about the girl's hairstyle (btw she looked absolutely awesome!!!). I was thinking what to say, playing the possible dialogues in my head, like>
me: she's apparently a lesbian...
mum: how do you know that?
me: lesbians recognize each other, you know.
Okay, in the end I decided to say nothing because I really didn't feel like having this kind of conversation today.
Btw it wasn't the first time when I found someone hot but my mum thought they're "weird". :icon_wink

 

Just an update. I was right, I received no reply (mainly because I came up late with that idea) but you know what? I just replied to one profile on a dating site. God knows that I don't know what I'm doing but I'm doing it anyway. :icon_wink

 

Thanks. (&&&)
Yea, I bet telling mum is the most difficult from all of the people in the entire universe. I even felt like I need her "blessing" and it prevented me from trying to date women earlier. Every time I went to a dating site I felt like someone's behind me and telling me "you can't".
Luckily I managed to get over this "block" and think I couldn't care less about her approval. Sure, I'd like to have her support but it's not likely to happen any time soon, if ever. I still think she knows though, that she just chose not to see. :dry:

 

The other day I was already in bed when out of nowhere I recalled how my mum asked me a few times if I liked men when I was younger. I was thinking how she avoided that topic even back then. Direct question would be if I liked women, right? Communication is really not a strong point in our family. There are just a few light topic we talk about and that's all.

Btw, the woman from the dating site wrote me back and we've been exchanging emails. I don't know much about her yet and I think it'd be a big luck if things pan out with the very first girl but I do feel good because it's a so much needed progress for me.
I feel a little uneasy about meeting people this way though but it's the only option for now because there's no LGBT group or something like that in my area.

P.S. Penpal, you're almost there, I can feel it. (*hug*)

 

Hahaha, really, Really? I don't think it's gonna turn out to be such a romance but we decided to meet. I think it may be better because she seems uncomfortable sharing things this way. Besides, it's probably better to see if there's some connection or not. I can't say it doesn't make me nervous though. Because now it starts getting real. Maybe too much real. :icon_wink
And there's still my boyfriend. I know, I know... :bang:
On one hand he told me he wouldn't stand in the way if I find someone else (a woman), but on the other hand he more or less believes it's just some kind of a hormonal imbalance that makes me feel this way. I wanted to break up with him but couldn't do it. Maybe it's like with smoking, some people quit smoking cold turkey, some cutting down gradually.

 

So, I met her and the very first second understood it's not gonna be a Meg Ryan and Minnie Driver movie. I don't know but there's nothing about her that would actually grab my attention. She's not the one I'd notice in a room of people, and I don't mean just appearance-wise, more importantly some her reactions were kind of... not exactly my cup of tea. I don't know... it's like after reading a few pages from the first chapter I realized I'm not interested in that book at all.
Well, it was a good experience though and it made me think how hard is to meet the right person via a dating site. I also understood that I'm ready to meet people from the LGBT community but not really ready to date, and that I'd rather solve it with my bf first.
I told him I'm meeting someone and he didn't say much. Yesterday we met and it was so... ugh. He told me he doesn't believe I'm the way I think I am (gay) and some other things. I couldn't even look at him. What should I do? Prove him my gayness? That's ridiculous!!! I just made an appointment to talk to a therapist...