Hi Having not dated in a LONG time and being older is this "ackward" reality discussed in advance with the other peron or do you just say during the date; "lets leave this coffee shop and go see a..."? The pactical, plan ahead, be polite part of me says "yes discuss in advance, you are not kids" while the social experience in gaydom so far says "too much planning turns people off". What is general consensus here guys? Discuss in advance or be spontaneous? Tom
Usually meetings with guys usually end up with some kind of sex after the first meeting, so if you want sex make sure you either end up and his place or your place. Maybe I am just easy, although I am chatting to another gay friend of mine and we tend to meet for lunch and or movies and we haven't got to the sex part yet, but again that friendship is never going to be about sex.
I think whatever you want the date to be should be planned in advance. When someone asked me out for coffee I tended to think that we were auditioning each other. If it worked out we might schedule another date or we might do something really informal--go for a walk or go sit by the lake and talk. If someone suggested a movie or a museum outing right then after a coffee date I would consider it a little odd. If you want to go to dinner and a movie suggest dinner and a movie.
What about you pick out a neat place to meet, such as a bench in a pleasant garden or something of that sort, you then talk about your interests and see where that goes. That way, it won't seem too planned and it won't be as you were on a "blind date" so to speak.
Hmm. My first meeting was simple. I met at a park, we walked and talked and discussed a lot about ourselves, and made an effort to be interested and non-judgmental in what the other way talking about - truly interested. We ended with ice cream, and then we took a short drive along the water and he drove me home. The hilarious bit is that we were honest to goodness just friends at that point, and the relationship started later. But that's how I met my partner, after talking to him for several weeks online. Your meeting will depend on what you want. A relationship, an affair, whatever. If you don't want to move super quickly, avoid going to either's home for the first meeting. Set the first meeting in a casual setting, where you can talk and discover each other. Small distractions (for us the ice cream and the walking) help, but you don't want a total distraction, like a movie. Afterwards, activities and perhaps seeing a movie work well. After that, a friendship is most likely formed, and you can build a romantic relationship out of that. Not that you need to do any of that! That's just what worked for me!!