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Need Advice

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Lynn44, Nov 14, 2014.

  1. Lynn44

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    Hello - I am new here. I am 44 years old and after years of running from my sexuality due to childhood trauma issues, finally told my therapist this past Thursday that I was pretty certain I was a lesbian. I have never been in a relationship, ever, and all of this is new to me. My therapist was great and I had a wonderful talk with my pastor, but I am not sure what comes next. Thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
     
  2. Really

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    Well, you could tootle around here and see what's up with others. (And maybe update your settings because right now your profile says you're male. Unless that's true.)
     
  3. MissMiri

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    ....i guess follow your heart?
     
  4. lb41974

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    yep I say be your self and have a good time ,you deserve it and now its your time to relax and enjoy life . I wish you all the best of luck .
     
  5. Penpal

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    Welcome to the EC, you will be fine here. Everyone is lovely and it's a great place to work out what's next.
     
  6. Lynn44

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    Thanks everyone:slight_smile:
     
  7. ithinkiamgay

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    Welcome to EC Lynn!

    And yeah I see that you've updated the profile after Really's post :grin::grin:

    I think you should start looking up for meetups happening around your place where you could meet other lesbians. This isn't just so that you date hook-up, but also to have a friend you can go places with.
     
  8. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I'm very impressed, Lynn. You've told your therapist and your pastor. I only dream of being able to do that. I think that having crossed that threshold, there will be a lot of things that just start happening in your life, good things. I hope so!
     
  9. LittleLionGirl

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    Welcome to EC and welcome to the world of lesbians Lynn. Believe everything you think and are told about how wonderful EC is for people like us. Don't believe a word anyone tells you about being a lesbian.

    When I came out to lesbian friends, I heard a litany of extremes. "All lesbians" or "Lesbians never" or "You won't" or "You will". Don't believe any of it. Lesbians are as different from each other as any other two people with a single commonality. Which is to say, there is no right "What's next"? The only right "What's next" is whatever feels right to you!

    I realized I was a lesbian late in life, without ever having been in either a romantic or sexual situation with a woman. My first experience with a woman after that self-realization was a major flop. Absolutely no sparks whatsoever. But that didn't change what I knew to be true of myself. It was more than a year and a double digit number of unsuccessful dates later that I met the woman that introduced me to feelings I always thought were strictly fictional.

    As one poster mentioned, meet-ups are great ways to build a social network. Online dating, I must attest, does really work - even if you simply put that you're a gay woman only interested in meeting other gay women as friends - cause you never know what could develop from a friendship. And being open and honest with those around you in day to day life can often yield the most wonderful results.

    Do what you're ready to do, do what feels comfortable and natural to you. Be who you are. If you put it out there, you will reap the rewards.

    p.s. Congrats on finding yourself!
     
  10. flatlander48

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    Since you live in or near a major metropolitan area, I would guess that there are women's social groups, hobby groups, study groups and sports groups close by. Good settings to get to know like-minded people without the romantic expectations and pressures of actual dating.