I'm in my late thirties, a mother, and I am currently living with a man. Long story short; we were abandoned by my ex when my girls were 4 and 6, and my current husband practically 'rescued' us. They now know him as Daddy. I've struggled with my sexuality for as long as I can remember, mainly because I've never felt able to be honest with my family - even at my age! I think they would be disgusted, especially my father. I still remember being 16 and chickening out of going to a 'coming out' group for women. I've done similar things many times since, including when I was on my own with the children. Anyway, is it possible to still be attracted to men, but not to want to have sex with them? I like to see an attractive man in the street, or in movies, even in pornography, etc. But I have no interest in men sex-wise whatsoever, including my husband. I find women intensely attractive and the prospect of sex with them exciting - I've definitely not lost my sex drive. This of course is causing severe problems between me and my husband, as I am avoiding sex as much as possible. He's a lovely man who needs daily sex and I'm upsetting him a great deal. I feel terrible! My husband knows I'm bisexual and would have no problem with me finding and sleeping with a woman. He thinks it might 'switch on my sex drive again'. But I worry that in doing so I would fall for her. How can I be THIS confused at my age!
Hey infinas36, welcome to EC! Many of us here have been just as confused, and much later in life...we each need to figure things out at our own pace and under our own particular circumstances. Your confusion actually sounds more like confession, which takes courage. Coming to terms means just that, saying the words that don't come easy, to the one person who matters: one's own self. Of course it is possible to be attracted to members of the opposite sex, despite same-sex attraction, but perhaps it is more accurate to say that one may find a member of the opposite sex attractive...notice the slight semantic twist, which changes everything... You have a problem that needs resolution; you came to the right place to figure things out. Take your time, post often and let's see if maybe you can get more clarity on the situation!
