where do I even start......ugh....sigh....deep breath. I just told my husband of 25 years that I never had the chance to discover my sexuality. He hugged me and told me he would support me in whatever I have to do to discover myself. He then cried his eyes out and in his eyes I saw how heartbroken he is. I just feel so terrible. I knew it would break him. He has been nothing but a loving and caring friend. oh god, I don't even know how to express myself anymore. I have so much to write to try and explain my back story and can't get the words typed out. trauma, religion, homophobic father, role playing mother, best friend kills herself at 17 because she's gay, next best friend dies of aids, accusations and defending, all signs lead to gay......neon signs leading the way for years and I was on auto pilot. So so hidden. invisible. and now....now...the lid is off and it does not fit back on. and the wreckage I see coming. it just breaks me thinking about it. and my kids....I just cry. I don't even know what I'm doing.:icon_sad:
Hey Freckles, I'm betting a big percentage of those tears are post-stress relief as well. Isn't his love & support a wonderful thing? Your kids will be fine too, I can almost guarantee it. Just continue to love them and love him (in the ways you can) and know that while things will change and you will feel and notice the differences, they don't have to be negative. As a matter of fact, they could end up being better in the long run, for all of you. Hell, I'm dating a woman, my ex is dating a woman who is a "little person" and while it will surely make for interesting family gatherings in the future, we're both happier than we've ever been in our kids' memories. They know it and they appreciate the benefits to their lives, finally having happy parents. Life is better in the most important ways for all of us. It can happen for all of you too. But allow yourself the tears, you deserve them. And once you've exhausted them, just realize that those were for what's been and don't have to be for your future. Love your family. Make your peace. Find your happiness. (*hug*)
Dear Frkldbklvr45: So sad for you but happy at the same time that you found your courage to come out. I hope things get better for you soon. I love what LionGirl said and hope you find some strength in them.
Not sure what to say except, hope you're feeling a bit better today and that tomorrow, you'll feel better than today.
Thank you all, not much has been said between us since I told him. We're just plugging along with a side of tension. I am grateful that he was supportive and hope that he will still be that way after some time has passed. And yes, LittleLionGirl, it was some post stress relief too. I am hoping it all works out and I see the positive. (*hug*)
