Aside from you wonderful folks here, I have yet to meet anyone who came out later in life after being married with kids...until tonight. I had an amazing dinner with a guy who came out 7 years ago at age 42. He has two sons and is now divorced and in a long term relationship with a man he loves. Like most of us, he's had a bumpy ride. His ex wife played hardball in court, causing him to spend his life savings on lawyers, and she's still playing legal games. She also told the kids he was gay before he had the chance to do it. His older son took it really hard. His mom was in denial when he told her the news and insisted he not tell friends or family because she couldn't bear the shame. When he couldn't take it anymore and came out to friends and family, they were all supportive of him and angry at his mom for not being more accepting. Well today, his mom has come around. His kids love his partner, and to their friends he's the cool gay dad. He's out at work and takes pride in helping break the gay stereotypes that were part of the reason he stayed closeted. Hearing his story and seeing how far he's come was really inspiring. And we had a really cute waiter, which was icing on the cake ;-)
Hi, Really glad you met somebody. I think age of coming out is important. More chance of success in dating pool as percentages of man-childs within dating pool soar with age. Avoid being the last minute xmas shopper browsing empty shelves, damaged items, tacky and incorrect fit choices.
Great update Spaceman, glad you found another LiL-type like us. And, the struggles he's been through reminds me to appreciate how remarkably well (not perfect by any stretch of the imagination) my coming-out process has been this year generally.
I'd be reluctant to suggest that coming out after marriage and kids is either easier or harder than doing it as a teen or a young adult. But it sure carries its own unique set of considerations and emotions. Having a friend who's been through it or is still going through it makes a huge difference. And it's been happening for years--I know a couple of guys from a support group who came out to their wives and kids decades ago. We all think we're so alone in this when we first consider doing this, but we really aren't. And yeah, there's nothing like a cute waiter to add a little extra sparkle to the evening! :icon_bigg
Thanks for sharing a positive story .. reassuring for sure. I'm in the same boat .. still married, have children and still closeted. never had a relationship with another me as of today.
that's kind of like the joke about the difference between an economic recession and a depression. "A recession is when your neighbour loses his job. A depression is when you lose your job." When it hits home personally, it really can seem harder than what anybody else has been through. that's why it's always such a great help to find people who have been through something we can identify with. It makes me feel less isolated, and more hopeful.
