Dear Normal (single) Gay Guys, Let me start with this question; Where are you? I have been looking for you for 18 months and not met one of you. I have met any number of not normal single gay men but no average nice guys. Yes, I like gay men so no issue there. I could go into the myriad of experiences I have had but lets just say it mimics the experience of straight woman seeking a good straight guy. The world is full of man-childs but lacks true men. I know you gay men exist as I believe I am one, so if I exist there are others. You are not online, you are not at the clubs so where are you? Have you given up looking? Believe me it gets frustrating after looking this long and not finding a normal, single gay man. Everyone says keep looking but I feel like I am searching for gold in a salt mine. Yeah, I have met some on EC but they are far flung, some stuck, some suffering and it is not a dating site let alone "meet this guy" kinda place. So where are you guys? Later, Tom
Well, they do exist! I found mine at Gate D35 awaiting an international flight. I was not expecting it, I was not searching for it, but there he was, a normal gay guy. Full of love, hope and kindness. Continue your search, they do exist!
Dear Tom, We're definitely out there, and there's a lot more of us than you think. Are you sure you're looking in the right places? Most of us are too busy with our families and responsibilities to be spending a whole lot of time in bars, and we're as uncertain as you are about casual hookups, so we may not be cruising apps a whole lot either (although we might have checked them out occasionally out of curiosity). We're shuffling our kids to gymnastics and band and tae kwan do and religions education and school plays. We're singing in the church choir, or going to support groups, or being involved with our communities in assorted ways (not just they gay community either). Or just going to work and the grocery store. We're hanging our with friends and family, or going to movies, or living normal lives. Most of us consider ourselves normal guys who happen to be gay, rather than "normal gay guys", so we may not be all that obvious. Most of us are also interested in acquaintances and friendships first, and might get a little scared off by someone who we think is looking at us in terms of "relationship material". We're secure with who we are, or are gaining security, and may be interested in an eventual relationship, but will get very intimidated if we feel like we're being auditioned for the role of someone's potential husband. We might very well be interested in companionship and love one day, but it's not the first thing on our minds when we meet someone, and we're more interested in dating to get to know someone than to troll for a boyfriend. If we feel like someone is sizing us up for a tux and a wedding, we'll turn tail and run so fast you'll see nothing but ass and elbows! But make no mistake, we're out there. We'd love to find someone positive and well-adjusted, someone responsible and caring who doesn't have a huge empty black hole in their heart and mind that they're expecting us to fill. And chances are we ARE willing to care, and make your life happier, and let you do the same for us, but only if it grows out of acquaintance and friendship and common interests and thought. Lump us in as part of some perceived maladjusted and twisted gay community, or show hostility and disdain for our beliefs, politics, churches, whatever, and we'll quietly disappear and find someone else to be friends with who will respect us. Think about who we are and what matters to us and where we'd be likely to be found, and go there. We may not be looking, but we're willing to be discovered. Affectionately, Normal Gay Guys
