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It's Me Again...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Lynn44, Nov 22, 2014.

  1. Lynn44

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    44 years old and finally accepted I am a lesbian. My mood is pretty low right now and I am by myself - when will I start to feel better? Thanks:slight_smile:
     
  2. forestguy

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    You are so pretty :slight_smile: I love your hair in the picture on your personal page. And that color looks great on you! How is the weather in Philly?
     
  3. Lynn44

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    Thanks for the nice thoughts... It is a bit chilly... I actually live in Wilmington, DE but figured Philadelphia was the closet biggest city...

    ---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2014 at 08:02 PM ----------

    P.S. Right now I am watching a movie called, "MILK" about the gay rights activist, Harvey Milk:slight_smile:
     
  4. Yossarian

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    You will probably start feeling better when you find some nice looking woman who seems attracted to you. Now that you know who YOU are, your task is to start looking for her. If that is your own picture as your avatar, you should not have too much trouble finding her.
     
  5. forestguy

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    It's raining here too and I'm in the Houston area.

    I've only seen the trailers for that movie but it's definitely on the to "to see" list. Is it any good?

    Edit: And it also helps to have a community where you can feel secure and forget that you're a minority everywhere else.

    I recently came to terms with my own sexuality and it's amazing how quickly a person can grow and change (for the better). I feel like a different person from month to month.
     
    #5 forestguy, Nov 22, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2014
  6. stella99

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    Hi Lynn, my story is slightly different to yours but I have came out to myself and I am now trying to deal with all the other aspects of my complicated life. That's another story, but I feel your pain.

    My advice to you would be to stop and take a deep breath. There is no rush to do anything here. Remember, no one can read your thoughts. You are in complete control ( you may not think so at the moment, but you are). Actually, I should probably rephrase that to you HAVE complete control, you just don't realise it yet. This is your journey. You go at your own pace and no one can force you to do anything you don't want to. Give yourself time to adjust. It's not a race. It may take weeks, months before you are ready to put yourself into the lgbt social scene, but that's OK. Do not feel pressured into doing any thing because you think that's what you should so. Your therapist will be a great help.

    Give yourself time to accept your self. You have done so well to come this far. Remember you are on a journey. There will be good stops and some not so good, but the thing to remember is that you are travelling. If you have a bad day it doesn't mean that every day from now will be bad. Do you have any support other than your therapist? The members on here are a great bunch and can offer lots of advice and support. Check your wall for messages too.

    In answer to your question, when will you start to feel better, there is no definite answer. There will be gradual subtle changes. Notice them and appreciate them and congratulate yourself when they happen, because they will happen. You have taken the first giant step in coming out to 2 people. Lots of us on here haven't done that yet.....
     
  7. LittleLionGirl

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    Hi Lynn. When I first came out to myself, my moods seemed to come in waves - some tidal, some gentle and they often receded as rapidly as they rolled in. Coming to this realization at this point in your life is kind of like running at full speed into a brick wall. After 44 years you've built up a lot of momentum, so a hit like this makes a major impact.

    If you're feeling low while you're alone, take a few baby steps. Create a profile on an online dating site, if you're not ready for a relationship, feel free to say so - I've actually met a few good friends that way - but just getting on will make you feel proactive. You could also look up lesbian meetup groups on meetup dot com. See what's going on in your area, see if there are any that host activities that interest you. I've also found a number of really nice local women at meetups right in my town. Some have become friends, others as social acquaintances, but all have helped me feel not so alone.

    So you've accepted it. If you don't want to be alone, I'd say it's time to put yourself out there.
     
  8. Lynn44

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    Thanks again to all:slight_smile: I have actually joined a support group at my church, signed up on two different dating sites and joined several different local Meetup groups:slight_smile: I guess I was feeling anxious because at times, my emotions seem all over the map... My avatar picture really is me; I decided that if I was finally ready to come out, it might be helpful for me if I posted a real picture...