Being a responsible dad for the last 18 yrs has caused me to push to one side my sexuality. Now that the 'little darling' is moving into adulthood I find myself rushing to embrace and reclaim my identity as 'bisexual'. This is a fairly traumatic experience for me. Like finding my lost self. Does anyone find this experience familiar or am I just going crazy?:bang:
Being a responsible dad is an all-consuming activity and it is indeed easy for any parent to lose themselves in the shuffle, this is not unique to LGBT folk who've had kids, it's an almost universal part of being human. The "empty nest" is like a giant space that very suddenly opens up in your life; if there wasn't something kept alive during the childrearing years, there may be very little left to fill that space. You will finally have time to yourself, with an opportunity to focus on yourself for the first time in years, almost as if you have awaken from a long coma. Suddenly now, you have an opportunity to become yourself, the trauma you describe is the anxiety you are feeling that goes with the vertigo of freedom. So take small steps on that tightrope, pause to regain your balance, pretty soon you will have crossed that chasm of self-discovery. Post here the events of that fateful crossing, we are here to cheer you on!
We sacrifice ourselves and our lives for our children. It is nature's way, I suppose. Whether we did the best thing by staying in the closet, well I don't know that we will ever really know. But our intentions were good. I'm at that same stage, with my youngest going out on his own this week. And that may be why this all hit me so hard about a month ago. It's like a pressure cooker and the lid is about to blow off. My mother had one of those old style pressure cookers that rattled and jittered and had a gauge inserted in the lid. every now and then, it would blow out and shoot up into the ceiling. we gots to be careful not to get to that point. and I think the last child leaving the nest is a bit like hitting that point. good luck
