To comment on something I posted in a reply for an earlier comment about dating sites, Why, in 2014, hasn't someone come up with a platonic friends type app. I realize that dating is where the "money is" but a lot of us coming out late in life don't even know where to start. For me, I am not comfortable blasting my sexuality and desire to meet new people on Facebook or at work...because I still have to work..and personally...sexual talk no matter if your straight gay or whatever, has no place at work. Most of us in our 30s 40s etc spend most of our time AT WORK. Its kind of awkward and aside from wandering into a random bar (though I did it like an idiot...and thought it was fun, it still didn't fulfill me) to just go up to someone and start talking about it. I know from experience, no matter the stereotype, man or woman, you cannot tell by mannerisms or looks alone if someones gay, and even if someone, man or woman, looks very gay, they can be 100% straight...So, my proposal is this...instead of just posting a dating profile and listing stuff that bothers you...why not get together, gays and lesbians alike, and create a platform where we can simply build our circle of friends on a local level, you know kind of like bringing this site to MeetUp or something? Not all of us have time to join a sports team or can stalk the clubs. I think this type of app with a spin on making friends instead of lovers would be very beneficial for those of us uncertain as to where we can turn for support.
This is really sad, but unless it was really heavily moderated, it would quickly degenerate (at least the men's portion) into a hookup site. Several have been tried (as websites, not apps), similar to Myspace or Facebook, but they all turned sleazy really quickly. Even at EC, the staff constantly has to moderate and remove profiles and ban people who are here for the wrong reasons... and if you spend more than 30 seconds looking around, it's pretty obvious this isn't a hookup or dating site. I think it's an amazing idea, but I think it would be tough to make it happen.
It would be nice, I think meet up groups do exist for LGTB people but not many. I joined a local group but it is women only. I'm not very active in it yet but hope to be as I get more confident. I'm dreading the whole dating scene to be honest. I was bad enough the first time round! Ha!
there is a meetup site like that in my area, called the Dallas Coming Out Group. The coordinate pretty safe and sane meetups, like bowling, Karaoke (no thanks!), parties, social events, things like that. So it can be done, but the key is there has to be someone who starts it up and keeps it going. It is not at all like those sexual hookup sites or the dating sites. I think it is a good example of how it can be done right. and while their name correctly indicates that it is primarily for people who are coming out, it is a very inclusive group, and they encourage people who have already come out, and even straights who want to socialize to join the group. I don't think they attract many straights, but who knows, maybe someone who wants to support a friend or relative might come along, and they would certainly be welcome.
There is one particular App, at least for guys, that while primarily for hook ups, can also be used to meet people and make friends. It's a function of putting "blinders" on and ignoring those profiles whom want "NSA" and focusing on those that expressly state looking to chat and make friends where they have reflected more detailed profiles or interest, etc. Maybe this is something unique to the city I live in, but it seems to be growing as a social & meeting facilitator rather than just sex. Maybe it's a coming trend, because more and more I see people who actually go out of their way to mention "No NSA" on the app. And maybe I am being optimistic when I suggested the tide might be turning in regards to what peoples objectives are. Now, given how many other Apps there are which are exclusively focused on NSA, the notion that one might be building momentum as a social facilitator may not be that surprising. All that said, there really is nothing like meeting people real time. And, again at least where I live, I tend to find I meet a lot of people in retail stores (typically specialty apparel stores) whom either work there or are shopping there. Everyone always seems to be engaging in a an apparel store and willing to chat. It's defineitly an out of the box type place to think about meeting people, but in this day and age, I say - Why not?
There are many such groups. As Chip indicated they become swamped with oddballs and sex seekers. In my area I would estimate less than 5% are sincere folks seeking friends or dating situations. And I am sure it is the sex seekers that drive folks away until they are the majority and nobody bothers. In this area there is a gay bar. NOBODY is there until 10:00pm. Why? It is a meat market. Bartender says it is only dinosaurs who cannot change or mainstream. Gay culture needs to evolve from eons of repression.
Yeah, I've had a great deal of success with finding interesting people, who aren't in it just for sex, on the mobile social sites. Takes a little more care when filtering, and be very clear in your profile what you are looking for.
I wish there was some way of meeting people. I am so painfully lonely it's not even funny, and December has made the situation painful beyond belief. There are honestly moments I wonder if I'll make it through the rest of this f:***:g holiday season in one piece. But...what does one do? I made an effort to get out more this year and do group things where one might find decent people. And while I benefited from those groups in many ways (e.g. interesting, though provoking discussions at my book group), a main goal--acquire some friends before Christmas Time Hell started--totally and completely failed. Maybe it's the Seattle Freeze. Maybe it's just not hitting the right group. Maybe it's just because I am--in the words of my father, when he divorced my mother about 30 years ago--a social misfit. An app isn't of much use to me given that my phone is a just a phone phone. Although if an app actually came along that delivered the goods without devolving into yet another way of hooking up, well, maybe I'd be persuaded to upgrade technology.
I think that if you're using one of those apps, the best way to put on the blinders is just go with the guys that only post face pics, and other normal photographs. I mean, if you couldn't recognize them in a crowded room from the photo that they've posted... (and I DON'T mean a rest room!)
Should have been thought provoking, not though provoking. ---------- Post added 24th Dec 2014 at 08:11 AM ---------- How 'bout a darkened motel room filled with whips and chains and leather goods? :lol:
I've tried MeetMe and its just sad. Either guys who dont pay attention to my profile that clearly states I'm there for friendship and I'm gay or topics that go nowhere fast.
