Hi Everyone, As I go through this journey of self discovery and trying to figure out if I'm really a lesbian and not "going through a phase" or midlife crisis, I've recently found myself terrified of being found out. And it's not because I think there's anything wrong with being a lesbian, because I lean that way more and more each day, I just think I'm afraid someone will find out and I'll have to be confronted when I'm not ready. I delete my computer history, I hide my gay pride stuff, etc. But at the same time, I sort of want to be found out. I'd classify myself as femme or chapstick lesbian, so no one would suspect I'm a lesbian in the closet. I apologize if I'm using stereotypes in this post, but the woman I'm involved with is very much a stereotypical lesbian and no one would question her. After re-reading my post, I sound a bit like a jerk and a rambling one at that. I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm afraid of being found out and at the same time, sort of want that too. Is that something anyone else has found?
wow, I can definitely relate to everything you said. it wasn't that long ago until I was strictly in the cover up mode. now, I'm am getting more careless and more open with things being there to be found. kind of like I'm hoping that I will get asked. I type this wearing my rainbow watchband on my left wrist, which I think my wife notice last night. she pulled up my sleeve to check the time. and I liked something on facebook from lgbt news about ways to come out, and one of the ways was wearing rainbow wrist bands. so it's like wanting to get caught, after years of working so hard not to get caught. and joining some gay sites like a meetup site, including a photo, which in the past I would not have done. I think we just get to a point, you know. I really like the way that skiff put it. very poetic, and very true.
