how many dates before sex?

Hi,

In Boston, MA area... No sex first date there is no second date. Doesn't matter what they say in pre chats.

Tom

 

I imagine that limits opportunities a great deal.

@OP It just depends. Ideally, every person I started a relationship with would drive me crazy enough to jump their bones on the first date, but it doesn't always work that way. I think when you get into the months or years territory, I start to lose interest, but for others, it's the only way.

 

I would second this view as well, to the extent it is a "date", and not just someone your looking to be friends with only.

 

Guess I should move away from Boston.

Since I've waited this long I'll wait until I can do it with someone special that I truly care about. Sex is a very intimate, personal thing to me and I'm not interested in doing that with someone I barely know.

 

I don't have any kind of set rule for it. My bf (he's 31) and I slept together after doing some stuff on our third date, but didn't go all the way until our fifth.

 

I always fancied myself a third date kind of guy--if I was going for some sort of future. If I wasn't shooting for some sort of future well we got down to business when it seemed right which was often almost immediately.:lol: Ironically I found over time that the people I formed the most lasting and intimate relationships with turned out to be the latter guys--I think maybe because I didn't subject our relationships to all that rules stuff and just encountered them as real people (rather than potential whatevers) and was genuine with them. For the record my partner and I slept together the night we met--and for seventeen years since.:icon_wink

 

I know, I know! 10 - ten dates...

I go with Carlin "good marketing"

http://youtu.be/CE8ooMBIyC8

 

For me:
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiMHTK15Pik[/YOUTUBE]
I kid, I kid... But I would have to know her extremely well and be insanely in love with her before things got dirty. So... a more realistic number would be 6 months, maybe a year or two.

 

Should be up to you and the person you are dating when you have sex, instead of some stupid rule that came out of no where. I've dated people where we slept before or after the first date, and I've also been with people that I haven't slept with for MONTHS after dating

 

As many as needed to make both of you feels comfortable.

 

That's the case a lot of places in the U.S. and Canada, actually, and all around the world.

I'm not going to be puritanical here and whitewash the answer. My answer is from zero (first meeting) to infinity (never).

I played that gentleman game earlier in my life to no avail. Then I changed to my tune to "strike while the iron is hot." No regrets. And I have a religious upbringing, too.

What's really interesting is when a reasonably clean cut guy hits on another reasonably clean cut guy. It's sort of like how it is with your parents. You can't picture them having sex, as in "Ewww." People sometimes can't picture clean cut guys having sex as readily as they do rogues.

 

Personality, One is enough.

I always hate people who put a timeframe on it. Why? This person bluntly said that they like to wait 5 dates. You would be amazed how many (inappropriate word) there are out in the world who would make this a goal. They do the 5 get what they want and never show up for date 6.

I'd be honest with them that 5 dates sounds a bit fast for you, I would also say something like "I can't put a specific time frame on it, but I'll know when it feels right to me.

 

Whenever you feel ready.

 

No experience. But from what I hear it can be anything there is no first date, just sex at one extreme to never at the other (2 asexuals dating, perhaps).

No dates to date here, but I think I'd avoid number of dates, and just go with when the time feels right. And besides, with numbers, you could get into messy questions of what is date and how do you count up to the magic 3, 5, or 2 billion? Are all dates equal? Or do some dates count for less? And what about accidental meetings where one might stand around chatting 10 minutes, say, at the grocery store? Much better, I think, to just forget numbers, and go with when the moment is right.

 

I never dated anyone before having sex with them. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that sex happened on the first date? Really, the question just never came up. I think the feeling was more that sex is fun and we should also find out if we're sexually compatible up front and get that out of the way. For the record, at least one guy I was with turned out to not be sexually compatible, but we went on to be very good and close friends for a number of years, even though we never had sex again.

Ultimately, you need to do what you feel most comfortable with, but I'm going to go along with the others who are saying to go with when it feels right rather than some hard rule about time or number of dates or the like.

Todd