there are haters all around. some of them are out there, the homophobes, the judgemental, the people who consider themselves superior and those who hold us in contempt; and even in here, there are those who feel that their hatred is somehow more acceptable and justified because their victims are not worthy. so why bother, nothing changes. face your haters in the closet or out of the closet, they are haters just the same. I don't see why it's worth the effort if it is just to get the same result. haters are haters. I give up.
Nooo Wildside. They want you to give up. Don't give them what they want. You are stronger than that. (*hug*)
Wildside, I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Hopefully things will look different in the morning. FWIW, I believe in you. I was here the day you wrote your first post, and my immediate thought was, "This guy has it together." I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I really do think you'll get to where you want to be. It may take time. Already it seems you've come a long way.
Sometimes people project their feelings onto others, labeling them with their internal conflicts. Not saying what is happening here but something to consider. When somebody holds a different opinion, has different life experience, it does not make them a "hater". What I have learned is that coming out is a discovery far beyond self discovery. What you learn about the larger world is just as great, just as ground shaking. There are lots of closets, lots of illusions and downright lies out there. Coming out of your closet exposes a lot of other closets. With the falling illusions it can leave people questioning what is real, wanting to throw in the towel rather than sort out the illusions from the real. If I recall properly you are in an abusive marriage beyond being gay, and your sexuality is also at odds with your faith which is your career. You have a lot more going on beyond just being gay. Yeah, it is a keystone but there are issues beyond it. There is no going back. You cannot unlearn what you now know, or stop questioning what you now question. With the fall of your closet it gives you visibility to a lot of other closets both internal and external. As far as I can see there is no magic "resolution" in coming out, the resolution comes in accepting human society is one messed up place with illusions and closets popping up quicker than they can be torn down. Lots to deal with
I don't know who's upset you, but if you think for one second we are going to let your spark go out you have another think coming. You cannot, in this journey, allow yourself to take on the opinions and feelings of others. Yes, there will be haters, yes, there will be homophobes, here, you should be able to expect better so I suggest you report whoever it was has made you feel this way on a SUPPORT forum. Rise above it all, my little Phoenix. You know your truth and that is ALL that will ever matter. And your truth is secure and safe and ok, no matter what external influences are thrown at it. Hugs xxx
"An' hater gonna hate hate hate... Shake't of" as the song says, so please return the Phenix. I got used to your voice of wisdom in most of the threads. I'm new here as you know but from my experience in EC I think that you are very important in this community.
Ohh, I think I found what caused this. This is where PM skillz would be useful. I'll wall post you but I think you might have misunderstood what he said. Chin up chick. Xxx
Please, don't give up now. You are a good person, and gave me strenght to carry on, and good advice. Someone like you doesn't deserve hate, they are blind. I'll be thinking of you, sending you all good energy.
Thanks, Weston, but I was really messed up on my first posts as well. I was really depressed and full of anxiety. I just don't believe that things will ever get better. I've seen a lot of people show a lot of courage over the past couple of months, but I've lived the lie for so long that I just don't think that I have that courage. I guess it could have been anything that would have knocked my phoenix out of the sky. I don't know what I was thinking, believing that I could ever have that life that I have dreamed of. I know my way around the closet, it's a familiar place. would I rather be out of it? hell yeah. will I ever? I don't see how. I always say that you'll know what to do when the right moment comes. well, it seems the right thing to do right now is to just lock the door and turn off the lights. thanks for reaching out to me. but I just don't know what I could ever do. I could be posting here for the next 20 years and nothing will change. ---------- Post added 2nd Jan 2015 at 10:30 AM ---------- thanks for everyone for the kind words, love and support. you are all such good people.
All the power to change is in your hands lovely. You are the only one who can change things for yourself. And you know how to do it. When you are ready. Xxx
Your life is yours to live, and you get only one. Throughout my coming out, I kept getting bogged down in details. I wanted to have it all figured out beforehand. But when I thought about all the possible ramifications and complications, it just became overwhelming. I finally decided to put everything else aside and simply concentrate on the coming out, on telling my wife, "I am gay." It still took quite a while. As others have said before me, when the pain of staying in the closet exceeds the fear of coming out you will come out.
Ay yai yai, and there's the rub. that power is definitely in the wrong hands! someone should know better than to put that kind of power in the hands of a lunatic
hey man, take a breath, now another. if you need a break, take one but like the Phoenix you will rise again and again. i figure you could use this,(*hug*)
hopefully it´d be better one day and remember homophobes are people who have problems with themselves (they aren´t necessarily gay, they are in many cases straight but they can have some mental issues)
