I was in denial for all of our marriage. But from accepting that I'm gay to telling him, which is what I would consider "being in the closet" - was only a couple of weeks. I'm hopeless with secrets and it fell out of my mouth during a meltdown about something completely irrelevant, and changed our marriage irrevocably forever.
I was divorced twice and devoid of relationships for ten years before I came out at 49. My first ex (dad to our three boys) found out a few months later and said that he suspected. I really don't give a damn whether my second ex knows or not. Lol.
16 years mostly in denial. But since I came out to myself two weeks I do not believe in doing things by halves. OOC73 your story could have been written by me! I had a meltdown and realised I could not go on pretending any more.
doglover44 : I've spent way to much time in that damn closet, forty-four yrs., before I finally couldn't take it anymore and came out of it. It wasn't easy for me, I wasn't scared or anything, but I was a crying wreck, because our society tells us that if you're born male, act like a " MAN ", go play football, work construction, drink beer, slap your woman around. What's wrong with this : I'll tell you. first off, I hate football, Second, I already did work construction, Thirdly, I hate alcohol, namely beer, four, You DO NOT EVER HIT A WOMAN, NO MATTER HOW MAD YOU GET. Last summer, I " came out " again, when I became trans-gender-ed, and I've never been happier. Jaymegurl
I was in denial too, until my now fiancé opened my eyes 8 months ago and it took a matter of a week to tell my ex husband.
the first 30 years of it, I was in denial. then came five years and counting of being out to myself (and others), but being in the closet with her.
She knew from the start. She saw first hand i.e. she was there with me and another guy. No closet to hide in there! Then marriage and denial for 5 yrs (or more like the pendulum was swinging in the other direction for me) until I had a one night stand with a guy and admitted I still obviously had feelings that spilled beyond just hetero, but wanted to not screw up our marriage so chose to be monogamous within our marriage, which I have since. I owned my slip-up and agreed to keep things more open - no secret rendezvous. I came to state again about 10 yrs later just to remain clear: "I'm still bisexual. But still choose monogamy." Now, years later, my spouse is more a distant housemate with total disinterest physically and I'm living the life I never saw coming - celibacy. Or the kind of celibacy of your average teenage virgin: porn and masturbation. Makes me think - there's lots of kinds of closets, lots of different doors. Mine's more like a loose curtain - if you choose to look behind it, I'm available to be seen. But then, people see what they want to see -- even if it goes against what they actually saw with their own eyes! Anyway, not like there's anyone lining up to take a look these days - so I remain, semi-uncomfortably celibate in a closet of limbo.
About 8 years, but after only 3 or 4 months on this site with all your support I came out to her to her total surprise nearly 2 years ago. SGG
My closet isn't really empty yet so I can't answer completely. ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2015 at 08:45 PM ---------- But, actually I was out as a gay man when I met my wife and then I went back in the closet and then I was bi-sexual, so she knew but maybe forgot over 25 years time but then I reminded her. ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2015 at 08:46 PM ---------- Then she said, "go" and I did
