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had my first "real" crush

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by looking for me, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. looking for me

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    he is gorgeous, a little younger than me (in his 30's) and i just knew he was gay. turns out he's in a same sex relationship and quite happy as i was told. happy for them but damn.

    well at least my gaydar is working somewhat :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2015 at 09:56 PM ----------

    just to add he's smart, successful, and funny. oh well.......
     
  2. Wildside

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    ah, the joy of having a crush. makes you feel like you're twelve years old again, all goofy and awkward. enjoy the feeling, and I hope that the next one is available!
     
  3. looking for me

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    Thanks Wildside, me too. LOL
     
  4. skiff

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    Hi,

    There are guys I see who are freaking gorgeous. It would be great if they were gay, fantastic if I had two-way chemistry with then FANTASTIC but I do not consider it a crush.

    I guess I think of a crush as being tied to teenagers obsessing (Justin Bieber-esqu) and lack of life experience.

    Not being disrespecrful, just thinking about the concept as an individual.

    ---------- Post added 9th Jan 2015 at 06:38 AM ----------

    What does a crush denote? IDK...

    http://m.wikihow.com/Recognize-That-You-Have-a-Crush-on-Someone
     
    #4 skiff, Jan 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2015
  5. treatmeright

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    I'm happy for you. First for the successful gaydar catch, I want to borrow yours for a while because mine is broken :slight_smile:
    Second having a crush is a wonderful feeling I hope your next one will be more available.

    I don't think crushing have age limit its a matter of the heart, and matters of the heart you can't control. As long you have a beating one you will feel all kind Of emotions and its a proof you are a living human.
     
  6. OGS

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    I don't think Skiff is having any kind of issue with the feeling, just with the terminology. I will admit that when I first started reading this forum I found it strange that the word "crush" was used to describe something that happened after say high school. Sometimes I think it's because people really are describing the sort of "relationship" one might have had in high school in a world where one was comfortably in touch with one's feelings from the beginning--and sometimes I think others just don't have the associations with the word that I do.

    At any rate feeling that way is wonderful! Even old married lady that I am sometimes I'll see a guy and think "in another world I bet we'd have a dog and make waffles together..." It's nice...:icon_bigg
     
  7. Rikudou

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    I am happy for you having felt this, and sorry that the person was taken. Would it be a problem for you to describe to me and everyone else reading this, what exactly does a crush feel like, to you personally? I am curious to understand how exactly did this make you feel.
     
  8. skiff

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    Hi,

    Seeing the word just had me thinking about terminology...

    Nouns tied to emotion are so subjective. One may call a physically and emtionaly relationship love, where another is totally disgusted by it.

    We toss a lot of words around and assume everyone holds the same definition.

    "Bear" is a perfect example. People defining themselves as bears are ALL over the map.

    Just thinking outloud.

    Tom
     
  9. BlueSky224

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    Although I understand your frustration that he's in a relationship, I think it feels good when you have a crush and realize that he's gay too. Somehow it's reassuring to know that someone you like can also be gay.

    I think of this involving two "celebrity crushes:" a singer and a guy on TV. I found out that both are gay in real life. Although I do not think there is any way I would ever meet either one of them, I just feel good knowing that they exist.
     
  10. skiff

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    Much like finding EC and others in similar situations. :slight_smile:
     
  11. looking for me

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    i'll get back to this when im at home and can organize my thoughts a little better.
     
  12. bi2me

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    I always thought they were referred to as "crushes" because that's how you felt when they were over...
     
  13. gogreen

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    I have what I'd call a crush on someone right now. I just mean like an infatuation...I don't know her well, so it may all just be in my head. I wouldn't call it real attraction yet, just a little crush.
     
  14. looking for me

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    ok, let me add some "colour" i've seen/met several guys that i've "lusted" over thinking the sex would be great, this guy i could see just spending time with, walking the dog type things along with the sexual thoughts. but......

    that's ok i guess. im not ready to pursue a relationship yet anyway. my time will come i'm sure.:eusa_pray

    ---------- Post added 9th Jan 2015 at 11:34 PM ----------

    ya never know.....

    ---------- Post added 9th Jan 2015 at 11:39 PM ----------

    no disrespect taken, there are times when i feel like a teenager again. my counselor said that it is probably because i stifled this part of myself 30plus years ago and now im letting that part of me mature from the point that i stopped myself. if that makes any sense.
     
  15. skiff

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    Arrested development of gay identity? Makes perfect sense. Brakes are off now, hormones moaning. :slight_smile:
     
  16. looking for me

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    brakes off......yeppers, hormones? oh yeah baby.....

    what a ride, loving it.
     
  17. bottomsup

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    I have a major crush on at work, I cry about it quite often, its great, and stops me from retreating, but I cant progress with him, cant hardly talk to the guy. Have had a few crushes, but this one is just knee and heart trembling. Sadly, have not managed to tell him, and I try to avoid him as much as possible, and he me. Makes me so sad, as im pretty sure he knows, and is hurt because I have blanked him in the past when feeling beyond coping. He blanks me quite often, we never make eye contact, dont quite work close enough to ever talk without approaching him, so nothing changes. Don't go to work do's or anything so I dont have to deal with it, and this is mental, im pretty cool, and funny and all that, but just go to pieces when talking to him. Cest la vie..
    The sorrow I feel is massive, and makes me ill if I think about it. I know im gay and everything, as does my wife, but our love is strong, and we get on quite well.
    I have had an extramarrital experience, which was great, and didnt.change things (ie she is ok with it) but what I want is a bf. Not gong to go pursuing this guy, as it would not be fair on him or me, and he is way younger. Im past the getting drunk each night rubbish, and have to look after myself these days..
    Anyhow, drifting there..
    Just wanted to say crushes happen at any time in your life, I never had any at school and kept myself to myself, and never socialised, and never had a gf either till U was chosen by someone at the age of 21. Felt it was right thing to do so did..
    I feel if I tried it could work, but being reqlistick it probably would only last a short while.
    Still the pain is there and very real, posted this as was crying in the car at lunchtime over my crush..
    Better than not having one however.
    The loss of the potential for so much joy is saddening, but have to live with it and deal with it as best as can do.
    Even if I seperated from my wife and everything I still might not pursue him (I tell myself anyhow) and my life would be in tatters and I would not be a good catch. Well, you never know anyhow, things can change quickly sometimes..
    Tc all, be well, peace and light and thee is always the future...
    Gah.
    Xx
    we get on well when I do make the effort, just im worried about being overbearing etc, who knows might go for a drink sometime soon after all..:slight_smile: Clink clink:slight_smile: