hey have any of you guys seen this show on TLC called "My Husband is not gay" ? it's about married Mormon men that have wives that know they have same sex attraction (SSA) and the wives support their husbands attraction. the husbands do not act on it. the wives accept them and do not feel they are gay. the men have "come out" to their wives saying that it's a part of me but it does not affect our relationship because i am not acting on it. the wives gets defensive if other women gay their husbands gay. i just saw this and this is really interesting. it's a reality show. what do you guys think? they tell their wives when they see a hot guy and they acknowledge that the guy is hot. but they do not want to actually act on the gayness.
Hey Thanks for posting! However, there is actually already a post on this topic. I will link it here below: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/curre...s/162754-my-husband-not-gay-new-tlc-show.html
TLC damages brain cells , I wouldn't touch this channel ever ! To think that TLC used to be called The Learning Channel one time , TV is for sure dumbing down...
I am a recovering Mormon. Saw the program and I think that the men and their wives are in denial. SSA is a just a way of explaining the gay away. Gay is not the same as SSA as far as I am concerned!
it just seems like a repackaging of the Exodus movement, :eusa_naug and all of those other very harmful attempts to try to change someone's orientation. comparing being gay to eating too many donuts, and how both are just a matter of self control, is really hurtful and insulting.
I've been seeing a lot of controversy among the professional mental health community. The general consensus is that it is doing a huge disservice to men in denial. And another thing we have to think about... reality television is almost entirely staged these days, so who knows how real anything we're seeing on the show actually is. My guess is it's just some reality TV production company's way of finding a hot button controversial issue and gaming it to get viewers.
this is a great point. if I had seen this show five years ago, I would have believed that if I just tried harder to exercise self control, like these guys, that I could really have the straight life that I thought we were also supposed to live. And that really is a disservice. It postpones the healing process, and prolongs the lie that people can change this part of themselves.
There is also... Scripted reality show. Translation "fiction presented as fact for $$$" Curious... what shows bumper it? "Bigfoot Dating" and "Baking with Martians"...
Well the baking show was cancelled. Marvin took the cookware. Turns out Big Foot is gay... Any bears out there?
well i saw the whole program and to me it felt like that if these guys had a chance to live guilt free and live life for themselves, they would all be with men. it was clear that they were fighting against their own nature. the fact that they sit their with their wives and talk about guys being hot and how some guys are "danger level" hot (with scores) and they discuss this with their wives....well i just think that is direspectful to the wife. if the guy was straight, he wouldn't be telling his wife, "ok this waitress is hot and has a nice body". to me, they are lusting after men in their hearts and that means that ultimately they really really want to be with other guys, but their religion and family upbringing tells them it is wrong. The poor wives just continue to say that SSA doesn't mean they are gay. it just means they have this attraction that they do not want to act on and can't help they have the attraction. Well that part is true, but to me, it just sounds like the wife is the "runner up" or the "second best" and that if the guys had it their way, they would want to be with a man if there wasn't the shame and condemnation associated with that. i feel sorry for both the wife and husband. i think its brave that they can be authentic on the show. but ultimately, i think they are going to live their lives secretly wanting a guy instead of a wife.
I could be wrong, but I seem to recall reading somewhere that several of the people involved with this show have connections to some kind of thinly veiled gay/straight conversion camp. Meaning that there's more to this than meets the eye, and perhaps they're trying to tap into the emotions (and maybe the checkbooks) of a group of deeply closeted men who want desperately to believe they're not gay. Obviously, those of us who are here in this forum know better than to believe that you can experience "same sex attraction" and not be gay or bisexual at heart. I feel for the guys who haven't figured that out yet, and watch a piece of crap like this and get it into their heads that they can be happy living that way. Some degree of happiness may be possible--I certainly believed I could be happy in a straight marriage, and if my wife and I had been more compatible and our marriage more equitable, I might possibly have been less likely to come out after 20 years of marriage. Possibly. I'm still not sure if I was desperately unhappy because of our relationship in general, or the fact that I was a gay man in a straight marriage, or a combination of both. But the fact remains that I suspected I'd be happier with a guy, and in fact I was beyond shocked at how MUCH happier I turned out to be. To encourage people to stay in their little bubble of denial by implying that this arrangement can work is unfair and really, rather cruel. And even more so if the people behind it are going to reap some kind of financial benefit from it.
It does seem like TLC has achieved their primary objective with this show: increased advertising revenue with greater viewership. They've got the people who want to deny or change their sexuality watching; the people who are in the closet are watching; the people who are out and furious about this sort of thing are watching; proponents and opponents of change therapy, fans of freak shows, and the genuinely uninformed and curious. Network executives don't care about truth, or what might be harmful to those couples involved in this farce. My vote is cast -- I'm not watching!
Whether staged or not, it's a shameless attempt to cash in on LGBT controversies. It's crap, just like the rest of TLC.
Remember... We are talking about something lovingly called This will be fogotten about before it gets canceled. It is not worth the energy. The content is the audience. Ok, a bunch of slack-jaws will watch looking for scandal. If not watching that they will be wrapped up intheir copy of Teen Clamour or the Enquirer. We are talking shallow end of gene pool here.
Although I haven't seen it, I do think the premise of the show is complete crap. Trying to change your sexuality for the sake of religion or society clearly isn't going to happen in a way that is fulfilling to the person. That said, if they are having SSA, could they be bisexual and in a straight marriage? From some of the descriptions, I'm not sure if it is that different from my marriage. I've certainly told my husband when I think a girl is hot (Kate Mara - I'm looking at you), although I try to be sensitive to his feelings as well.
