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In Memorium

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by biAnnika, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. biAnnika

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    This feels like the appropriate forum for this thread.

    My partner received a call this morning that her aunt passed away last night. This is the eldest of her father's 5 sisters, and also the last surviving sibling (including her father) on that side of the family. She was 84 and lived a full and happy life with lots of love. Even at her age, her death was not particularly expected...kind of came out of the blue at us.

    She was my partner's favorite aunt...in a family where my partner often felt like a kind of outsider (long before grappling with her sexuality), this aunt was continually loving and accepting of who she was...fostering her imagination, intellect and independence, rather than stifling or criticizing them, or just being baffled. I've written in bits and pieces here the experience we had with her parents when we came out to them with the exact nature of our relationship. Her father was the only person who took a decisively negative stance toward us/me. But this aunt was the only person who took a decisively *positive* stance. My relationship with this special person really began at that moment...and it has been sadly all too brief.

    My partner feels a deep sense of loss, naturally, at the loss of her favorite aunt. But I too feel a rather strong loss...I'm just in the position of having to be the strong one to support my partner. It's not even clear at this point whether I'll be able to attend the funeral, although we'll do what we can. So as a kind of closure for myself, and bit of self-healing, I'm writing this with many tears, to let you all know that the world has lost a person whose life was truly centered around love and acceptance, and who was special to me and even more special to the person I love most in the world.
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Sounds like she was a very special lady and your comments are a fitting tribute to her. Sending hugs from afar to you both. (*hug*)
     
  3. Wildside

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    sending warm thoughts and prayers your way. she really sounds like a special person who loved unconditionally. from people like her, we all learn how to love. hugs! (&&&)
     
  4. Black Raven

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    I will give you all the comfort I can. (*hug*)
     
  5. biAnnika

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    Thank you Patrick; I hope that they are.
    Thank you Wildside; I know my partner learned unconditional love from her, when she couldn't learn it from her parents (long before she met me)...and for that I am forever grateful.
    Thank you Raven; for the comfort and for being you.
     
  6. Nickinthemiddle

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    biAnnika, I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds like a nurturing soul who helped you two to stand together. I hope you and your partner can support each other through the loss and we are here for you.
     
  7. greatwhale

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    My condolences to you and your partner, Annika. It is so important to talk about the special people that we've lost, to honour their lives by telling their story and to acknowledge the debt we owe to them.
     
  8. jay777

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    (*hug*)(&&&)



    Continue writing about your feelings, it helps...
     
  9. biAnnika

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    Thank you, Roses; she was, she did, we are, and yes, EC's support is wonderful.
    Thank you, Mr. Whale; it's not like me to announce my hurts, and yet it felt incredibly important to write this thread, both to honor her, and to aid my own healing;
    Thank you, jay; I agree with you...it does.
     
  10. bi2me

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    I'm sorry for your loss. May her memory be for a blessing.
     
  11. looking for me

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    so very sorry for the loss to your family.
     
  12. sldanlm

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    Sorry I didn't see this earlier. My condolences to you and your partner. :hugs
     
  13. GayDadStr8Marig

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    I'm not on EC very often these days and didn't see this earlier, but these are difficult times for you both and it is wonderful you have each other to grieve the loss of such a positive person in your lives, no matter how long you knew her. I am hopeful the you are (were?) able to attend the funeral, not only for yourself but for your partner, and I'd imagine your partner's aunt would want to have you both there together. If not because of the family situation, then take some time with just you and your partner for your own private remembrances.

    Take care and peace with you both in the days ahead.

    (*hug*)