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feeling a little lost today....hmm :(

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by offmychest, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. offmychest

    offmychest Guest

    hi guys, you all have been very helpful and i am coming to some changes in my life it seems. today for some reason i feel like crap. not sure why. just lonely i guess and kinda wishing that of all the guys i have expressed interest in (sure many were straight), well just felt like with sheer numbers, 1 guy would have been interested in me. in a way, it would feel really great right now to be approached for once or someone that i liked to text me back or something out of the blue.

    so here's an update.

    Came out to a friend: i came out to a female friend when she asked me if i was into guys or girls. she said that we always talk about her dating but never about mine. i wanted to life and i tried to deflect it for a while but i just told her i liked both and i'm open to either. she asked me which one i wanted more. i just said i was open to either but focusing on guys now. in a way i lied a bit because i am not focusing on women at all right now although i find them attractive. anyway, she wanted to hook me up with some guys so we'll see what happens there. she was supportive. i felt like he may have known already because i came out to a mutual friend and i think he may have told her. but i didn't ask her if that happened and surprisingly i didn't care.

    straight guy: i met a straight guy at a club and came out to him later because i liked him. that was about a year ago. he said he was straight. i kept flirting with him but eventually gave it up. we are just friends now and i am ok with that. it's funny. i think he is still attractive but i do not have any interest in him anymore. we were hanging out once and he said he may have a guy for me. a part of me was a little hurt that i wasn't him but at the same time i am over him so open to seeing who he may have for me. when he told me he may have a guy for me, we were in a straight environment. not sure if anyone heard but surprisingly i did not care if they did.

    straight clubs: so i went to a party at a lounge. it was "straight" but there are always gays around somewhere. some more downlow than the others but at the party i saw a few guys that hit my questionable gaydar. i even saw a few that i know are gay/bi for sure but appear straight. i used to want a guy like this but now for some reason, i do not want guys like that. it's just too much energy. the hidden looks, glances, stares, interpretating body language....it's just too much. i also feel like those kinda guys are almost never relationship oriented and more hookup oriented. i just feel like more and more, i do not want to be around those type of guys or places they hang out. however, i find the gay stuff just so GAY and i feel lost in the middle of it all. sometimes i feel like i don't belong anywhere.

    feeling alone: i have been feeling really alone inside for some reason. i think it is because i want a relationship or just someone in my life. all attempts have fizzled out or just led to someone wanting sex. nothing remotely romantic or exciting. when i went to the straight event, i danced with female friends and smiled and outwardly had a good time but at 40 i just feel too old for all of that and it just did not feel fun for me inside. i love to dance but in my mind i was thinking, "id rather be dancing with someone i was into". i feel like that alot.

    gay meet ups: i am going to try and gay meet up or signing up for one. i am reallly afraid to do that. but i am going to try.

    online dating: i have not posted a picture yet. just surf to see what type of guys are out there. its surprising that i know many guys on one of the sites i am on. i actually have tried dating a few offline and that did not work out. feel weird about putting my face on a site. i thought one was reputable less hookup oriented but a friend said it was a hookup site. i was surprised. oh well, i did not put my picture up yet and not sure internet dating works for me. i may just have to go to gay events and try my luck.
     
  2. Goose1

    Goose1 Guest

    Joined:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    are you lying to-- or cheating, hurting, disrespecting-- anyone els-- except yourself? If the answer is "NO" then think about it-- you must be doing ok. If you're hesitant then you already know how to change it (else you wouldn't be questioning)----if you can't change it this second then I'm certain your religion gives you points-meanwhile--bc--you're considering changing it. You can't get rid of your spirituality that easily--else--why would you have cultivated it for years in the first place?? xx

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2015 at 05:20 PM ----------

    correction els=else
     
  3. PrairieRachel

    Full Member

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    Yep, events and people of like mind! Clubs and parties never did it for me! All is well. We are here if you need us! :slight_smile: