"Don't worry, there's someone out there for you"...(a rant)

ROTFLMFGAO!!! :roflmao: I don't mean to take joy from someone else's pain :eusa_doh:, but this sounds like some of the stuff that rattles around in my head (and on more than one occasion happened to fall out of my mouth... :tantrum: :icon_redf )

Oh, MisterSparkles, this is just a classic rant! I love the sentiment and the brutal honesty. (*hug*) (*hug*)

 

Hi,

I get it, I understand your frustration and anger.

Just as there is a list of things not to say to a depressed person lonely people need a similar list.

I am in same boat... 20 months out and I have found zero "available" men. Lots and lots already partnered.

It is a numbers game. Damn few gays, age shrinks the market, fewqer still of the tiny pool are interesting to you, and then the myriad of lone wolfs.

I get it. I have no clue if there is "somebody" out there, but like the lottery you cannot win unless you buy a ticket, play the game.

How about dinner?

Tom

 

I feel your pain. The problem again with numbers. Even if I find the right one for me, maybe he might not be interested in a long-term relationship, or maybe still in the closet. That's really frustrating.

 

I would not date somebody in the closet. Been there and it only leads to pain.

Something comes up sooner or later where their choices are you or the closet and closet wins hands down.

I see it best in hindsight.

 

Oh, MisterSparkles, I've heard it a million times. I'm with you. It's agony.

It reminds me of a passage from The Opposite of Sex:

Lucia: It's destiny.
Bill: I don't believe in destiny.
Lucia: F**k, who does? It was worth a try.

Time and again, I've heard about "he's out there," and "just when you're not looking." These platitudes are--as you put it--condescending. I've been "not looking" for most of my life. It doesn't work.

A colleague told me that planes were a great place to meet guys. I used to fly some 120,000 miles per year. I finally took a few photos of the people sitting around me on a plane just to prove that there were no single gay guys on board.

The only really meaningful line I heard was from some guy who had lived in multiple cities. "Fags are the same everywhere," he said. It's rather cynical but true.

My 40th birthday looms in a few weeks. I find it even more aggravating that others seem to feel the need to point out that I'm getting older, and what will I do about having children. Gee, thanks. That's a big help.

Tom, I think you're right. This is about odds. There aren't enough guys to go around.

But I think it's really rough on straight people too. A former coworker: an attractive, talented woman gave up on dating. My former next-door neighbour, a cute, friendly, and hilarious soldier, can't find a woman to save his life. They've both bemoaned the "swipe" culture of apps... finding themselves dismissed instantly.

I don't know if geography matters. When I lived in San Francisco, guys would even meet me on a well-known "OK" site and dismiss me within a matter of minutes. It was as if they were in a massive rush to meet someone much better.

But I never hear from one of my closest friends. But it's for a good reason. After being single and quite closeted for years, he found a truly fantastic guy. I'm jealous, but I'm also happy for both of them. So at least one person I know has had success.

I try to maintain some glimmer of hope. But I hear you, Mister Sparkles. Loud and clear... even 7,000 miles away from you.

Better luck to all of us.

 

I would advise you to grab a pillow and shout into it...


Now do you know the difference between a few animal species and men/women?
If they try out something and it does not work out, they immediately try out something different.

People instead tend to repeat patterns that have worked at least once for them, over and over.

So if you have a feeling something does not work you might try out something different.

There are people in really all kinds of partnerships. In all kinds: tg, gay...

A few points could be:
would it be nice to be around you ? Would you be nice to a partner ?
do you feel ready for a partnership ? Some people say they need time.
Are you in a stage for a partnership or have other things priority ?
Do you know what kind of partner you would like ? This might take some soul searching.
Do you do do some things that bring you in contact with people ?

Its not a huge list, and if you work on a few points things might change.

hugs

 

Thats a rant-and-a-half !!!
And I agree !!!

 

Jay777,

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus...

I think he needs to vent at the moment... LOL

 

Thats why I gave the hint with the pillow

(*hug*)

 

This is literally my life right now :lol:

 

With that attitude you can have any man you want.

 

ok so would you rather them say:

"you're right, there's nobody out there for you."

 

i really understand how you feel. I am on the same boat. and I am 100% sure you are a nice guy and this is not your attitude but loneliness makes you sad and when you hear this rhetoric it drives you crazy. I feel the same way. Where is that person. Unless you are hot and/or young it is not that easy for an average guy to find someone to love. Are they that shallow? Yes most people are shallow and just looking for looks. There are exceptions but this is the truth. BTW depression and loneliness is killing me too

 

If it makes you feel any better, I firmly believe that some people are so unpleasant or have such bad attitudes that there really is no one out there for them. I'm not sure how that is really supposed to make anyone feel better, but your post seems to suggest that it will... So, there you go...

 

:eusa_clap

 

There are people out there who aren't interested in looks, sex, money, status or the accumulation of things, but they are all ugly and poor so I won't date them. Lol

 

the person who started this thread is just lonely and i don't think he is a hateful guy. Hugs (*hug*) (*hug*)
please don't make fun of him

 

Hi,

Some like to taunt those in pain. All he did was to be honest.

 

---------- Post added 24th Jan 2015 at 02:28 AM ----------

also, i think you're right, not everyone is suited to love.