Coping with straight people - rant

I spent a whole week-end with loads of straight girls. It was fun and all, but their conversations are just all the same! Thank god there was one bisexual girl there because we were the only two who laughed when they asked us very seriously "so what's your type of guy". And everytime a guy would walk by, all the girls would turn around and check them out... They only talked about hot guys and crushes and boyfriends and stuff. I'm not much better when it comes to girls, but it was pretty annoying.

 

I legit can't understand straight girls at all. I can't understand what they see in guys :lol: sure some guys can be cool but I just don't see anything that appeals to me. And I'm not into the whole who's hotter then who thing some stupid straight girls do. I legit can't see what the fuck they like. I'm too busy looking at some cute girls body

I also think its pathetic when they kiss eachother for a guys attention. I mean look what they're doing to us real lesbians!!! We don't want guys thinking we're kissing for their attention. If anything when I kiss a girl it's meant to scream ''sorry boys, I'm gay!'' :lol:

 

Hi

WAG...

Social skills are the norm. Large portions of gays are closeted so... Altered social skills?

I can only agree with your observations.

You may also find that gays are more prone to Aspergers. Again WAG...

---------- Post added 26th Jan 2015 at 06:19 AM ----------

My Aspergers Child: Is there a connection between Aspergers and homosexuality?

 

I too wondered why I could never feel like I could have a 'deep' friendship with straight girls. I wonder in retrospect if it is because all my deepest friendships were actually cases of me being at least a certain amount of in love with my non-straight girl friends. I'm always nervous with straight girls if they will think that I'm gross or possibly creeper-ing on them if they know about the real me. Also, I do not care for almost any of the things that are the basic conversation of most average women. I don't care to denigrate or trivialize my gender because that's not cool, but I just can't relate to the small talk or usual conversation matter. I can relate a bit on mothering/parenthood, or if someone has military background maybe. I can relate if they are very liberal or have some feminist values. But the average lady friendship is not relatable for me.

I find that sexual orientation notwithstanding, I need to have something in common such as spirituality, science fiction/geekiness/ren nerds, or even (as bad as it may sound) someone who has overcome a lot of adversity (though they always said trauma bonding may not result in the healthiest friendships in therapy), or someone who is very outgoing and outlandish and tend to 'run off' most other girls, in order to feel free to be myself.

So maybe *I* am the one who is un-relatable, not the majority of women. But in any case, I relate to you.

 

Hi,

Trust me, not a gender issue. I have no interest, sports, cars, pop culture, fad or fashion. I can do these things but they equal to any other activity which does not interest me.

 

I don't really have a problem with straight women. It's much harder with straight men, especially if they know about my sexuality. Actually, since coming out I've been extremely disappointed in some straight guys I thought were friends people I thought were liberal, accepting.

 

Hey I don't want to cause an argument and I am not looking for trouble but I am afraid I must disagree.

It is not possible for me to comment on Molly or anyone else's friends as such as I have never met them but reading this post for me made me feel hurt and sad. It felt like an attack on my friends and my girlfriends friends or any gay friendly supporter out there. Its almost like the reverse of homophobia, we all fight for equality and acceptance of everyone despite their likes and dislikes, in life, love, sexuality or whatever it might be.

We complain about stereotyping but this is exactly what this is. I completely get that EC is a safe place to come and rant, that is what makes it so special. Its awesome that people feel comfortable to come here and let out the things they cant in the real world. I am not saying that there is never a time when talking to an LGBT person who just totally understands where you are coming from feels better and safer than a non LGBT person but that isn't the feeling I get from this thread.

There are straight people who walk fast and straight people that walk slowly the same as their are gay people who walk fast and gay people who walk slowly. I am not saying that you should or shouldn't get on with these friends but what I am saying is if you don't its not because they are straight its because they are not your kind of people.

 

I'm not sure it's about them being straight so much as having different interests at this point in their lives? I have been with groups of straight married women and the endless conversation about men, home decorating and child raising bored me to tears, but that's not because they were straight; we just had no common interests.

I have straight friends now that I like very much, but they're mostly beyond child rearing age and so have lives that are closer to mine.

 

My reaction has solely to do with my experience currently with people. I'm not judging anybody else.

 

My straight friends have been such a support to me. I'm not sure I would have got this far without them. It's not if they are straight or gay or bi or any other sexuality it's their personality that counts. Maybe they just aren't the right friends?

 

Same here. I usually felt left out when other girls had these groups of friends (although there seemed to be a lot of bitching and jalousy going on as well) but often relating to other women seems not to go that well. My interests are just different and I really dislike the constant talk of men or dieting/disliking their own or each other's bodies. There is so much comparing going on.

I guess it makes me cherish friendships where this isn't the case.

 

I've had to deal with shallow/boring/uninteresting people, but I've never found them to be specifically straight. In fact, I've dealt with plenty of boring gay guys and lesbians, too.

Good example: I went to FoaF's house (friend of a friend) once, and was a bit bewildered by his living room decor - five huge pictures of Lady Gaga, and one of Madonna. He reassured me that he had ordered a sixth Lady Gaga to replace the Madonna one. And no points for guessing what we listened to while we were there, and what he wanted to talk about.

But I've met straight guys who only want to talk football, and asexuals who only want to talk about Harry Potter. I find people who only want to talk about one thing to be pretty boring in general.

Lex

 

I feel your pain, and I have had these experiences as well. However, in my opinion the main problem in these types of situations is a lack of common interest. I think it has less to do with them being straight than that point.

That being said, there are certain types of straight guys that I find really hard to identify with at all. Then there are entire subgroups of people that I find hard to identify with. For example, being with a guy (or girl) who is very active in military culture. All they want to do is talk about the military 24/7 -- I have nothing to contribute, and I am not overly interested. I am interested in the political issues that might surround the military, but I am not overly interested in the culture. Similarly, active Church goers are problematic. People who want to talk about what is going on at their Church endlessly are frustrating. I am interested in religion, especially from a historical and political point of view, but I am not interested in Church life--I do not care how liberal the church is, it is still not interesting to me.

Then there are people I just do not get along with at all, like Social Conservatives. I am not even really interested in being their friends, and it is always VERY disappointing to me when I find out someone I have things in common with otherwise is a Republican or a Conservative. Sigh.

I have, of course, met boring gay people. I have also met gay people who, while not boring, had lives or interests that I did not share. So, I do not think this is a problem that is related to their sexual orientation. You just need things in common so you can redirect the topic of conversation toward that, or you need new friends.

 

well i never knew slow walking was a "straight" trait and that all gays "walk fast" and keep conversations to the point. i think these are generalization about your friends who happen to behave that way who also happen to be straight. i do sense some frustration which leads me to wonder where it steam from. are you out to them? maybe you feel like you're trapped in a closet because the real you is not getting out.

 

We're not all bad

Trust me, straight guys are no better to hang around. It comes down to the individual, really. I have a lot of female friends because sometimes I simply can't handle the immaturity of other guys I know. Only so much Call of Duty I can play and so many times I can hear the word "bro".

 

LOL...........Oh, this is too funny.

No, Im not making fun of anyone, I just think the subject is just a funny part of people in general.

Obviously you are more serious minded and would prefer to talk about things that matter, and get things done in a decent amount of time, being with friends or not. Right?

Well, it's not just girls, although girls are more apt to this kind of behavior. Gay guys do the SAME thing. I've also seen lesbians do this, as well as all other types of people of all ages.

For some reason though, women have more of a knack for just wanting to have a nice time with who they are with, especially if they are out with "the girls". Time is of no consequence. Time is just a thing that doesn't matter, because why put a time limit on having fun with your friends?

Cyndi Lauper said it all........Girls just want to have fun. And this is what she meant.

I know girls can go on endlessly about the most insignificant thing, for hours and hours and hours. You just have to jump in and change the subject. And believe me, from experience, it is SO easy to change the subject when a group like this gets together.


Anyway, it's not just straight girls, its pretty much anyone who gets together with a group of friends. Some are more silly than others, some are more serious than others, but thats why you get together with your friends, right? To forget the world and the problems in life for a little while?

If you get together with these people often, you might suggest doing something you like to do the next time. I would suggest a board game or a card game, since you have a few people, but you might pull your hair out over how long that will take.....LOL.

If you want to talk about something serious one day, just tell them so.

If that were me, I would have just stood up and said loudly...."Boys?!! EEEEWWW, GROSS". I bet that would have changed the whole thread of their conversation. LOL

There's not much you can do about changing HOW they act and the time they take, but you can shift the conversation to something else very easily. Well, unless you make a game out of it.........see who can make the best cup of tea in shortest amount of time, and then they get their lunch paid for, or get a extra cookie or something. Girls have not changed much over the decades.....they will usually go for games of some kind. So if you have something you would like to do, or want to cut out a little of the nonsense, make a game out of it.

My sister used to drag me to parties when she was between boyfriends. I hate parties.
But I am a people watcher, and thats what I got to do at these parties.....watch people.
So, if they annoy you too much, you might just want to sit there and observe.

But, if they annoy you that much, why do you go?

It is very rare I get to see my friends. So when we get together, well.......we pretty much act like that too. LOL

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