Celibacy Are you celibate? If so, are you celibate because you WANT to be, or because you HAVE to be? I live a celibate life because I want too. Not because I really WANT too, but because I find the options out there grotesque and disgusting....so I stay to myself. And what I mean by that is - all the diseases out there. It's bad enough you can get a lot of them from touching door handles and toilet seats nowadays.......it's even worse having sex with someone you don't know VERY, VERY well. That makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot fathom even touching people anymore. Lying is not even considered a bad thing anymore. People lie through their teeth every single day now. I don't know, work with, or have met hardly anyone who tells the truth....everybody lies. And thats something else I cannot tolerate. And that, together with a lot of people who don't even wash themselves on a daily basis......it's just all so grotesque and disgusting, it makes my skin crawl in the worst way. I find it much nicer to keep away from all of that. And besides, sex is not the "End all, Be all, super fantastic thing" everybody makes it out to be......once again......a lot of lies. I've heard WAY too many people tell one person how awesome it was, then tell someone else how horrific it was. You can clean off door knobs and toilet seats, but you can't clean a person. I don't need to be taking no chances on having sex with someone I don't know very well, and have not know a long time. Which is another problem all of its own.
LOVE the graphic! Hahaha I've been celibate voluntarily for about 7 years. Just recently I've decided I no longer want to be and I admit it was way easier just wanting to be celibate, now I'm crushing all over the place on people who may or may not even be gay or interested. I'm wishing I could just flip that switch back, but I don't think the desire is going to go away.
Well, I've never been.......forgive the term here......"hormonal". I mean, yeah, I can think about it or see a good looking guy and it gets me heated up a bit, but thats about it. I really have no interest in pursuing sex. Even when I was younger, I was more interested in finding a friend, someone to hang with and talk too, rather than have sex with. To me, sex is just messy, time consuming, and well.......gross. Maybe it has something to do with me being an organizational freak, and clean freak. I don't know. Even when I was really young....I have been turned on more by someone who has real intelligence, and knows how to use it. Brainy people get me excited for some reason. Oh well. It IS nice to see someone my age on here though!!! All these 15 year olds on here, makes me feel like a dirty old man for some reason!! LOL
Sex is the icing on the cake, not the cake. And even though the icing touches the supportive plate it is not the plate either. Now a guy was all over me begging for sex last week (I guess he was desperate) and I refused, am I celibate or just disgusted by his behaviour?
Desperation is rarely sexy! The thought of sex grossed me out toofor a lot of those seven years, MisterSparkles. Then I went on a trip with a bunch of 20 year olds and their hormones must have invaded my system! There are a few of us I notice on EC who are, ahem, NOT 15. Nice to see I agree!
In regards to celibacy... I am not super... "hormonal" as Sparkles said. I am simply "ok" with the idea of it... I don't think I am one of those people who the thought of sex turns them on, but I feel I'd enjoy it if I had a partner I knew very well. I have never liked the idea of casual sex, and I myself am a virgin. However, I wouldn't mind sex... except for vaginal. My trans soul disapproves of anyone messing around there... The joys of being born in the wrong body! Maybe I'm a little too young to comment on this, but... I just felt my opinion would at least make the conversation a little more interesting.
Yeah, me and the hubs are celibate once we realized we should not attempt to force our sex lives because something wasn't right and our relationship was actually kind of really a super deep emotional friendship and while we both go through therapy to get better, we are going to stay married and cohabitate and not have sex with anyone except our very own selves, separately. So yeah celibate here too. I don't want to 'force' it with hubby anymore, and don't want to jump in with somebody else until I'm ready.
I choose to be celibate because sex disinterests me. I don't even like masturbating, It's boring as fuck.
I haven't had sex in over ten years, unless you count online text sex which I totally don't. It's mostly because no one's interested and I don't have a choice, but then again I could have been working a lot harder to find interested people, and I did have a couple of chances if I wanted to have sex with men I barely know which I don't. I used to enjoy kissing men but once it got into really sexual stuff it was never very good and I never got close to orgasm, so that's probably part of why I haven't bothered. Of course I wonder if having sex with a woman would be totally different, but I'm just going to have to accept that I may never know. I admit that it's really, really hard for me to accept that. I don't mind so much being celibate right now but I hate the idea that I will be celibate for the rest of my life, or that I'll never have good sex.
I am currently up to a bit more than 44 years and 1 month of celibacy. Perhaps I should order a tombstone now that says "Spent a life of total celibacy." Am I celibate because I'm forced to, or by choice? Both, I suppose. I have never even had a date, and there are times when I frankly question if I realistically could attract a boyfriend worth having. That said, there is some choice: I could, I suppose, arrange a hookup. Perhaps one of those thought provoking craigslist ads that run: "I'll be in a room at a [name of sleazy fleabag motel]. I'll be wearing a blindfold. You come in, don't say a word, and have your way with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Er, thanks, but no thanks.
I haven't been in a relationship serious enough to make me even consider it. I'd like to be some day, but I'm in no hurry. If it takes another 5-10 years, no big deal. So I'm celibate by choice. If my goal was just to have sex, I'm sure I could find a willing partner pretty quick.
MisterSparkles, I really love your avatar I've been celibate sexually for over 2 years now, probably nearly 3, not much compared to others. Partially out of choice, and partially due to circumstances: I still live with my male ex partner. I think our culture is really messed up, we present sex as this big need, that we ought to be going out of our way to get fulfilled. It's nonsense, people survive without it for a long time, and don't seem to loose their marbles. I wish I did not try to emulate this message when I was younger, I think it was harmful. I am actually a tiny bit proud of myself: there was a time when I was pretty careless and did stuff just for the sake of doing it, I am very lucky that I came out of this period of my life with health unscathed. These days I want to wait for the right person to come along and am much more respectful to my body/soul. I feel like I am finally succeeding in looking after myself, which feels good I will break my celibacy for the right person, but I will take my time in finding them!
I'm celibate now, after almost 25 years of marriage. I'm celibate mostly due to fear & shame and feeling that I wouldn't be attractive to the ones I'm attracted to but fear is the biggest factor. I do, however, very much want to be close emotionally with a man and miss that level of intimacy.
