Dirty Old Man

hmmm criterea? when was the last time you showered?

 

The fact that it's worrying you shows you aren't a dirty old man. You're just looking at the kiddie menu you're not ordering.

 

Stealing a line from Mae West, "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." :icon_wink

 

well that's because you were a young dirty boy, now you're just older.

 

No, it doesn't. You're a fine human being.

 

Think of the weird stuff that older men tell young, beautiful girls. They're always trying to get in bed with them, even though their chances are zero. That is the definition of "dirty old man".

Simply looking and acknowledging that they're gorgeous does not make you "dirty old man".

 

I agree with pink panther. When you cross the line from thought to action, if the action is clearly unwanted or crossing a boundary, that makes one a "dirty old man." Thoughts and fantasies are nothing.

 

Hi,

Boundaries being crossed without permission seems to work. ("boundaries" being deliberately subjective)

I went on two dates where the guy was somewhat younger but they could not keep their hands in their own laps. I am no prude, but a stranger pawing me without permission... Inappropriately behaving man.

If attention is mutually welcomed there is nothing "dirty".

"Dirty" is a byproduct of a sickly compliant society. A label to ostricize.

 

MisterSparkles, I'm not too far from your age and the real truth about younger guys is that they are all different. At the mall you noticed the good looking ones but didn't comment on the not so attractive guys. Your eyes seek out what you want. Members here will talk about all the varieties of age differences for couples but there is no single rule about it. I've had 2 young guys discuss this with me and they both said they wanted a stress free experience of sex, fun (and money) that more experienced guys bring to the table. The bigger question is what can they bring to you???

 

Hi migval,

Good point. Though I am surprised they openly mentioned money.

 

I hit up younger guys all the time. My therapist says that's where my emotional maturity (or lack there of) is stuck at. I never experienced the wild side of sex in my younger years, only had 1 sex partner before I got engaged at 27. Only dated maybe 4 or 5 girls between the two. So, I'm hoping this fixation and desire for younger goes away. I've hooked up with a few older guys, and frankly some of them seemed needier than the younger guys I've been in touch with.

So, I do have a 17 year old that I'm friends with, and we've started sharing benefits. I'm not sure what he see's in me. We chat a lot online, we've had a couple of platonic 'dates,' lunch and playing xbox. We met last night and finally got intimate. We were both quite nervous, but things worked out. I hope we get together again, he's a really sweet guy, and I loved holding him close after.

So far, he's the only person I've met that doesn't want anything from me, besides me. Doesn't want money, or things from me, just wants to spend time, and be intimate.

I think he understands where I am with things, but I think we'll need a heart to heart to make sure.

 

The short version of a longer story: When I was 16 I worked in a Kiddee Park on the north side of Chicago. I was approached by an older guy about 50. I was more attracted to his convertible and agreed to go for pizza. After a couple "dates" he started groping my crotch. That led to him taking me to a motel room. If I was smart I should have run for my life but I found it very exciting. This went on almost all summer and I looked forward to seeing him. It was very different than experimenting with guys my age. He knew what he was doing. He was gentle and never forced me. One of the kiddee park owners finally realized what was going on and scared him off. I fondly remember my "dirty old man". No, it didn't turn me in to a child molester.

 

I will say, my FWB is the one who brought up getting physical. Although I'm 50, I'm about as experienced with guys (except my own equipment) as he is. While I'm certainly open to just about anything, I'm letting him set the pace. I'm not in any hurry with anyone at this point.

At one point, because we were nervous, and things were going slow, he said to the effect, "oh my god, what if we're not attracted to each other?" I told him, then we'll just be friends and skip it. He was astounded I think to hear that I'd be fine with that. Also relaxed him and things felt more natural then.

 

If you're a dirty old man, I am doubly so. I am very drawn to younger men but take no action. Thoughts there are in plenty.

 

One thing that bothers me about this "dirty old man" phrase is that it can be used to deny that older guys do have sexual desires. I think Western culture tends to de-sexualize people as they get older. I remember being shocked the first time I heard about retirement-age couples being sexually active - because I had somehow learned that older women "don't want it" anymore, and older men "can't get it up" anymore.

But that said, to me a "dirty old man" is an older guy who forces himself upon or tries to exploit someone younger for sex. There is a gray area where it isn't clearly rape or sexual assault, but perhaps the younger person is pressured or manipulated into sexual activity they may not have had otherwise.

There's also the issue about age differences in general. I think age differences are taboo in the straight world because women want to be matched with men around the same age for procreation and parenting. Since gay sex doesn't produce children, this issue doesn't come into play.

 

That woman... That wonderful dirty old woman...

WHERE?! :lol:

Yup, there is the hypocrisy. (*hug*)

I never make a pass at someone, unless they are looking at me and smiling. Specially younger people, I know they'd only feel uncomfortable... Plus if it gets complicated and the mother/father find out, I'll be in troubles (and I've got enough of them already).

Now to have a good look (as long as they don't notice you staring at them), that is free, so I look at whatever I find attractive. As long as you don't make them feel bad with your looking/staring/comment, I think everything is fair game. There is a million ways to compliment someone without making them uncomfortable.