Hi! Just need to ventilate my feelings.:rolle: I am bi and I am not 100% open with it yet. Some of my friends and my sister knows, but not her kids and not my mum. I have said that when it comes to feelings and relationships I believe that you fall for the person, and not the gender. But I have not said that I like both men and women. I have only kind of said "half the truth". Eventually when I tell them, I don´t want to be seen as a coward, not having the guts to tell them before. I am sensitive to critics and a kind of vulnerable person, and I feel afraid what the reaction will be...
I think the same thing and I take it beyond that. I also think it's dishonest and that you will feel guilt. It's a terrible thing to do to yourself. Have the courage to be yourself. It's nice to be bi. I had a bi phase, but I turned 100% gay and can only have sex with men. I tried having women friends and that didn't work well. When I get drunk I socialize with women, but it's a bad habit I need to break.
It's hard but come out, when you're ready. They may already suspect and will be relieved for you. There's only one time to live life- right now. Good luck
I know where your coming from Missy. Im out to my son, and some freinds but not my elderly parents, but this is your journey and no one can tell you when to come out, who to come out to or in what order, or even when you come out. This isn't cowardly, it is your path not theirs. and i reckon this one is mine. :icon_wink anyway(*hug*)
I have written about this issue here before. I'm out to only select people; I'm not out to my elderly mother or to my ultra conservative, right wing brother, or anyone in my family except my wife and my kids. I am mostly out to people in my wife's family. I am out to friends but not at work. Sometimes, I feel it is cowardice and sometimes I think, "heck, maybe I just want to be private; why do I have to talk about my sexuality?" I feel a lot of pressure from some people in the gay community to come out more, as it is viewed as an obligation that helps advance the cause of equal rights. I get that but I feel that I balance on the head of a pin most days and it is so stressful to tell people about my sexuality when I don't feel a high level of self-acceptance. I know that people would tell me that more self-acceptance would come if I were out more but I'm not convinced. Ultimately, I mostly want to stay private.
Yes I totally agree- Arturo! Private is a good word, not cowardly. Why do we have to shout out to the whole world that we are not straight? Sexuality is something private, and this hysteria about coming out just because you are not "within the norm" is stressing me out.
Unfortunately, bisexual people are largely dismissed by both heterosexuals and homosexuals. You may get some of the same from your family, or you may not. You are the one who knows them best. I, personally, see no need to ever "come out" to my mother. She would never understand, would be intensely judgmental and it would only cause me more stress. Who I sleep with and how I identify is not her business. She ripped the right to know out of our relationship the day it became apparent to me how she feels about LGBT peoples.
The thing with "coming out" is that you don't feel like you have to hide anymore. If it is a source of concern that you are hiding something and it bothers you, come out. If it bothers you that "coming out" will open up a can of worms, by all means keep it hidden.
I think there comes a point where it becomes more tiring to be hiding or living only the half truth of who you are. You will know when that point is. It is like that for me with some acquaintances of mine at work. I'm tired of not being able to say, "My wife and I..." with the luxury that everyone else seems to be able to. These people don't know I've eloped or that I am gay or bi or whatever it is that I am. I'm almost there and want to tell them soon because I want to feel completely free. I don't know what is stopping me just yet. I think it's just a matter of letting the words come out, and after that, I don't care what they think of me. It is just the courage to say the words out loud over and over again to myself, perhaps. It is not so much about them, but me, because they will not stop me from being who I am. I just need that moment of courage. I hope you get there, whatever your reasons are for not telling them yet. Ever way, do it to free yourself, not for them. Their reaction may not be what you want to hear, so don't do it for them. You don't owe anyone an explanation of your life or who you are.
