I should tell my story

I want to tell this because I've read other's stories and they've helped me realize I'm not the only one.

At the beginning, I should have known at age 13. As I look back, so much makes sense to me now. I won't get into this as it is typical BS that happened that I pushed down. But fast forward to age 15 I lost my virginity to a bisexual girl. Our relationship ended because I was messed up in a tent with her and her supposedly gay ex boyfriend and they had sex. Her ex boyfriend had a tendency to 'mess' with me and it never bothered me despite the fact that outwardly I was homophobic at that age. It ended with that, but for some reason I never held him in contempt,

From there, life proceeded normally. However I never pursued a girl, it was always the other way around. I had many girlfriends and we all had sex. I never thought anything about it. I was straight after all. It was never disappointing but I always ended up dropping them for various reasons.

Then I met my wife. A wonderful woman with whom I share so much in common. We met in 2002 started dating later that year, and got married in 2006. I can't imagine a more perfect person. But my mom died and my job fell apart so I found the perfect job for me which caused us to be apart for 6 months. In the meantime I met a girl who eventually broke me down and led me to have an affair. I won't get into the details, but she was very manipulative and that led the situation further. She also happened to be bisexual. Her and my interaction led me to realize I wasn't straight. I think it was because I hadn't considered bisexuality as a possibility since I was quite young.

Well, I'm a shitty liar, and when it came time I came clean, but before that I realized I had SSA. after I fully came out to myself I came out to my wife two weeks later. It was a lot to heap on her, and I feel shitty for it, but I had to. My wife and I decided no matter what, we are staying together. I love her, even though I'm gay and my world is upside down.

So after coming out as bi first, I eventually had to admit I am gay. I'm a Kinsey 5 likely, in that women don't freak me out, but I really have no interest.

That's where the kicker comes in. I can still see a woman and think she is attractive, but if it comes down to thinking of the act it's like hell no. It is such a strange place to live.

 

Rachel, I'm sorry. No one shouldn't take you seriously. I'm a tad genderqueer and knew that and accepted it long before my homosexuality. People not taking you seriously is their problem, not yours. Be who you are, proud, the rest can sit and spin.

 

Hey, Thanks for sharing. I am living the same thing right now. I have found that my sexuality at 28 has decided to bounce a round the Kinsey Scale like a pin ball on speed. Some days I feel super gay, others i just enjoy life and dont think about it. I recently came out to my wife and we are working through it. We have a child together and that is our main priority. How are you and your wife getting along? Have you gone to some type of open relationship, or just living like a regular married couple (platonic-haha)?

 

I didn't bounce around the Kinsey scale like you did/are, I thought it was 3 and quickly realized I was deluding myself, 5, 5 plus. She and I have our days. We are and always will be best friends, but there is tension there, but mostly great. Yes, we are moving toward an open relationship, and she and I are pretty much platonic.