Ok quick background..Im 30, a mother of a 2 year old son, separated and soon to be divorced from my husband. Im bisexual and didn't realize it till about age 27 and me ex always been fine with that and its not the reason for our divorce. Ive been with women sexually but Ive never been in a relationship with a woman. I found myself drawn only to women as soon as we separated and the idea of being with a man right now isn't appealing. Whether I ever have a desire to be with a man again remains to be seen. The plan: date some women, see what my interest level was with intimacy and whether a relationship with a woman was even appealing or was just a distraction while I heal. Focus on self and my son, make new friendships, explore everything in 2015. The reality: I met a woman on ****** (i know i know) we talked for a month on the phone and texting before meeting and hit it off right away. We've now met twice in person and its like we've known each other forever. Im falling super fast and now Im freaking out! She's the first woman Ive ever dated so Im trying to back peddle and date some other people and figure out if Im just THAT attracted to women or if she's truly super special. I hate to drag her into the messy place I'm in my life (figuring out my sexuality, going through a divorce, learning to co-parent with my ex)..Literally as Im typing this she calls me to say "don't write me off, I know you are debating it." We are SO connected and on the same page its scary. Ive never been so intrigued and drawn into someone before. But I don't want to hurt her. Im so lost right now, I never wanted to have feelings for someone this fast.
I can sorta relate to this. I have just started to venture into dating other females and I met this girl online and we hit it off immediately and texted all day everyday and then met in person and talked for like 3 hours. But I'm so nervous and still trying to sort all of this out in my head in general and while she knows that I am new to dating girls and is totally cool, I don't want to drag her into the jumble in my head right now. I don't really have any advice, but know you aren't alone and good luck!
As long as she knows your circumstances it really should be her call if she wants still to see you. I think you should be honest with her cause that is all we wish for honesty, you don't need to let her in to all your life straight away. As we know plans don't always work as many broken marriages show. I totally get i have came out only 4 months ago co -parenting with my husband of 26 years. I am totally terrified to date anyone not because I am unsure I have totally accepted I am a lesbian but also I have the exactly the same plan as you. I have went to lesbian meet up group only to discover that they are not interested in my plan cause they all got plans of there own which don't include someone telling them there number person is there son. So as long as dating this woman does not affect your son maybe it is as close to your plan as you may get. I want to meet some women have some fun learn about myself but it don't think it is that easy to keep our feelings out it. By the 5 meeting with this woman you may be over her but you will not know unless you try. No help I know but this being just out is so confusing it feels like being a teenager again.
