Were your first same sex experiences casual or as part of relationships?

My same sex experiences have always been casual. Had sex several times with my first, but we were never in a relationship.

 

Relationships.

Always friends first.

 

My only sexual experiences have been with my boyfriend. We were each other's first partner.
I don't think you should worry about 'having experience' (sexually) before going into a relationship. If the relationship is at all meaningful, nobody is going to be broken up with for the amount of sexual experience they have.

If you like the idea of casual sex, and not necessarily sex in a relationship, I think that's a perfectly fine reason to hook up with some guys.

I definitely think that having sex with someone you love/trust is better than it would be with a stranger. Partners are more understanding and patient than a random stranger looking to get off.

 

I like what TJ had to say regarding sex.

My first relationship was with my friend with benefits. It was part experimenting until high school. Then in high school, deep down, I wanted more than that. However, I was still bound by guilt. Do I beat myself up for that relationship? Yes, but I was a horny teenager. He turned out to be a flake. I am just glad that despite him not using a condom when he came on my lower back and a condom breaking once while he was inside me, that I didn't pay with an STD. I am truly blessed.

 

Well I thought we were in a relationship and he apparently didn't. I gave a blow job to my best friend at around age 19 when we were totally wasted.

 

Extremely casual -

First time (and first guy) was in a toilet cubicle in a locker room in college. We messed around several times over a period of some weeks, including once at my apt. Never asked his name and he never asked mine.

Second guy was from a phone number in a toilet stall in a bathroom in college (for a good time call...). I called. I had a good time. We got together a couple times - after the second, I decided I was gay and he was the first person I came out to.

From that point, I met guys in various ways, some via personal ads (since apps didn't exist yet), some in the course of living my life. Some were friends first, some weren't. Some were just hookups, some were multi-year committed relationships. The current relationship has been going over 18yrs and included getting married last December.

Todd

 

Casual, but with a buddy I knew for 4 years.

 

Very casual. But I think that was also a part of / result of being in the closet and totally in denial. If I were in a healthier place, if I accepted the fact that I'm gay as I do today, I might have done it differently. No way to no for sure, but I would hope that knowing that I am gay, I would pursue a relationship first. But then again, flaming wild crazy anonymous or casual sex is an awfully powerful, intoxicating experience, so who knows? All I can really say is that you should do what feels right for you!

 

Of course, it's easier at any age to find the casual thing. there's always somebody looking for instant sex. but I think that it's more a matter of circumstances and of choice than it is of age. Relationships are always an option. But if circumstances don't allow for a relationship in life, than casual becomes the option. Or, if someone just gets a jolt from casual sex, that's always going to be a go-to option; regardless of age. enjoy life, whether it be casual or committed! (!)

 

We were friends first, but fell in love.