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Trans with young children

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Outlier, Mar 15, 2015.

  1. Outlier

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    I have a 10 yr. old with Aspergers (which makes this a little more tricky, but dealing with this with kids at all is tricky). I came out to my cousin yesterday and she said something that kind of upset me: that I really need to think about the decision to transition because I'd basically be killing his mom. That even though I'm still me, that "mother figure" would be gone.

    I think it upset me because of course I think about how this is going to effect my kid. I've thought about it constantly, but I don't feel like this is the type of thing you can just not do because of others, including your kids. It gives the impression that this is a choice... that I can just choose not to transition because that might be what's best for my kid. Which I guess I could choose that, but then I might as well climb right back in the closet and keep pretending I'm a woman. Isn't it just as bad for my kid that I'm always depressed and can't even love myself? What kind of example am I setting then? Am I being selfish? Is it okay to be selfish?

    Do any of you have small children? How did you handle it? How did they handle it?
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    Kids are unbelievably resilient. Especially at 10 years old. I appreciate the additional complexity of his condition, but I do not agree whatsoever with what you have been advised.
     
  3. BradThePug

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    My mother worked for a long time in a school library. She would often times have the children in the MH classes come in and check out books. Many of them did not understand why I dressed more masculine and acted more masculine while I was still pretty female at that point (I had hair down to my butt). Once I explained that I feel more male than female to them, they totally respected that and I never got any questions from them again.

    Kids are usually pretty understanding when it comes to these topics, because they have not yet had the chance to fully learn society's view on LGBT identities.