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Bisexuality, marriage, and kids.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Happenstance, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. Happenstance

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2015
    Messages:
    11
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    Location:
    MN
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I didn't realize my bisexuality until I was 27. I had already been married 6 years and had two children. My husband's been great about everything, but I still have such a sense of loss.

    I never got to live as a single self-aware individual, never got to explore and embrace my sexuality. And now I never will. Every single life decision was made by a fictional me pretending to be something I was not, albeit subconsciously, and each was also deeply rooted in a faith I no longer hold. Once I admitted by bisexuality, I felt like I had woken up in a stranger's life.

    Please note, I love my husband and we do not intend to divorce. It's just so hard to cope with the regret and the frustration for taking so long to figure myself out. Looking back it seems so obvious, it's hard to believe I could lie to myself so thoroughly. Hindsight bias, I know. And regret won't change the past, I know. But it's awfully hard to rid myself of it.
     
  2. tssoe02

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2015
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Riverside
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi,
    I understand where you are coming from. I've only had a couple of experiences since I admitted to myself that I'm bisexual. Currently I have a girlfriend who is long term and I don't plan on leaving her anytime soon. We actually talk about building out life together. However, there are times when I sit back and think that I never really explored my bisexual side or at least not nearly enough. I was limited to only a couple of experiences (mostly sexual) but was never romantically involved with another man. I would tell myself that I wasn't attracted to men this way, until a met a gym buddy. I can see now that maybe I could have been wrong. In my current direction with my girlfriend and if we continue on our path, I won't find out if I can be romantically involved with another man. At least not anytime soon.

    These are some of the mixed feelings that I guess come along with being bisexual. Unless you're in an open relationship then these are the feelings and constraints that we must put on ourselves. In a way, it's like saying that you are extremely attracted to a particular type of woman (ethnic, body style, color, etc.) but fall in love with someone completely opposite to you ideal; you'll have to grapple with the idea that your ideal mate is just that...ideal.

    E