1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Scared...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by hibiscus123, Apr 4, 2015.

  1. hibiscus123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I've finally come to terms with my sexual preference however, I'm scared of the unknown. I have a huge crush on a lesbian at work but she doesn't even acknowledge my presence; :confused:!
    Many here have posted that the lesbian community can be harsh to those who come out later in life; this scares me!

    Where do I start?
    How do I meet someone?
    What if I never meet someone?
    Did I set myself up for a sad lonely existence?
     
  2. RainbowBright

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2012
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    -
    I think it's better to be honest with yourself about who you like and what makes you happy. That's the best way to real happiness. But you have to be patient.

    As for the work lesbian (lol), do you have anything in common with her to talk about? Maybe you can have coffee or lunch with her sometime, or some casual conversation, to get to know her. I would venture to say though that if you have already tried talking to her and you two have nothing to say to each other because you don't like the same things, maybe she's not a great choice for you as a date anyway. And I would personally put out that caution about dating at work, which is generally not a good idea - especially for someone who is just coming out and getting used to something new. What happens if you DID date, but it was brief because you're just figuring things out, and then you have to see that person every day at work? Awkward is among the better things that could turn out to be!

    Since you're in Boston, you should check out the huge LGBTQ Meetup scene. There may even be groups for "Late Bloomers" or later-in-life lesbians for you to join. The more you go out with women in related categories, the more chances you will have at dating, and the more you'll get comfortable with this new identity. There may also be groups specifically for bisexual women, which may be a good source of support. You should also check out the local LGBTQ center and go to some activities there, which would give you more chances for information and support, and to meet people. There is also hanging out at the local lesbian bar or "lesbian night" if you don't have steady lesbian bars in your area.

    Whether or not you pursue the work woman, it would be really good for you to get out in the scene a bit and make friends in the community, and of course also to have other dating prospects! The more you're around gay woman the more comfortable you will be with yourself, and the idea of dating a woman for real!
     
  3. vamonos

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2013
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tijuana
    Gender:
    Male
    Yes. Welcome to the club.
     
  4. PrairieRachel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South dakota
    Relax my friend and get happy and comfortable in your own skin and things will happen.

    If you really want screwed up try to be a lesbian trapped in some guys body. No one takes you serious....sigh...
     
  5. MisterTinkles

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The World is My Chewtoy
    Baby steps.

    Take every day as it comes.
    If you see an opportunity to make a friend, take it.

    You can join clubs, go to social meetings, get on chat sites and date sites, but it all boils down to just being "out there".

    Don't worry about everybody else. Just worry about you. Find someone who has the same likes as you and make friends. Friends are the best way at meeting other people, going out to social events, or just hanging out at the mall/park/museum or where ever.

    Things take time, don't expect everything at once, and don't expect everybody to like you, or for you to like everybody. Just take it as it is, and go on with your life.
     
  6. PrairieRachel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South dakota
    I do love cats :slight_smile: