25 yr old lesbian who studies Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies and am only out to people in my new city. But, I have never officially came out--people here assume I'm queer (maybe it's the Birkenstocks, short hair, & field of study), and am not out to my family. I was out to dinner with new friends when they asked if I had been to the local gay bars or had a girlfriend--and that was my "Oh, shit...I'm gay and people know" moment. I responded that I am single to dodge the topic. At work, the weekend before Pride my coworkers asked me what my Pride plans were--and I had never mentioned my sexuality. I'm struggling how to tell my family although I believe that they know, just as everyone else seems to. My mom asked me right out if I was gay and that if I would tell them if I was--but in the moment, I lied. She also brings up how she likes the song "Same Love", I think to initiate the conversation. Additionally, I am an only child and am close with my parents but feel that they will be upset because we are so close, that I have waited this long to tell them. Any words of wisdom on how to tell my family would be appreciated--thanks!
It sounds like they support you and I don't think it would be a bad thing to tell them. Even if it goes wrong(which I highly doubt it would) you would still have alot of supporting coworkers to get you through it. I would say go for it!
My dad often makes homophobic comments--for example, when watching a television show such as House Hunters, if there is a queer couple he states "I wouldn't want them as my neighbors." And frequently calls lesbians derogatory terms. I believe he does this to gauge my reaction. I guess I'm anxious about his response, which will probably be "So, I hear you're a carpetmuncher now." And the awkwardness of that moment. I guess I've got to get over the anticipated awkwardness so I can start to live my own true life.
Yeah first step would be to come out to your parents. It sounds like your mom would be more accepting than your dad, which is good cause you'll have an ally, but at the same time have faith in your dad. Hopefully he wont react badly. Before coming out to my mom, sister and brother, I really thought they wouldn't react well, specially my brother as he made homophobic comments every now and then. However, although my mom and sister didn't hug me and accept me right away, they reacted very well. My sister has come around eventually. And as far as my brother, he was very supportive and accepting from the beginning, which was a surprise. Point is, don't over worry and just do it if it is safe to do so. Hope this helps
