Bisexual myths hurt

Do you have any suggestions on how I could explain that someone who is bi isn't just going to get a divorce and go after someone of the opposite sex from their partner. It's so ridiculous. I don't get it. Anyway if you need any support let me know

 

Oh don't worry, I know it hurts, of course, but a person who reject someone because of their sexuality isn't someone I'd want to be friends with. I'm sure you wouldn't, either. Honestly, they're just ignorant most of the time. If people isn't informed about bisexuality it's another case, then you can simply tell them about how you won't fall in love with everyone you see, or both a man and a woman, or want to have sex with everyone, that you can't "pick" a side, simply that you can fall in love with both men and women.
I wish you all luck and happiness you can have

 

It's no different then the chances that a married straight person will be attracted and go after someone of the opposite sex. If you are committed to someone, you are committed to them. Cheating has nothing to do with sexuality.

 

I hear you. When I first began accepting my sexuality, I naively thought "great, now I'm part of the wider GLBT community!" My sister was the very first to dampen this jubilation with, "actually, bisexuals are not accepted so much in either the straight world, OR the LGBT world...folks kind of think they are 'batting for the other team". I had wanted SO MUCH to believe that being GLBT meant being part of a COMMUNITY but sadly, in reality, are we possibly just a loosely affiliated bunch of individuals who simply share the distinction of having a sexuality outside of the 'norm', ie, straightness? Is reality finally biting me?

 

I was having a bad day when I made my previous reply. I wish to now state how I truly feel, deep down: I love being bisexual. I don't care if some folks have a problem with it. And I am going to find someone, either gay, straight, or bi, to be with, who will accept me as I am. To hell with being fearful or morose. Being bi is great. We have a perspective that is very special: to be able to see beauty in both guys, and girls. Be happy just being who you are.

 

Don't let anyone get you down for being bi! I am too, Damien is, too.
As Dumbledore said: "Remember this: you have friends here. You're not alone."
Yes, we are marginalized a lot. But if you've been in a Pride parade, you know that there is true togetherness there. And people in general can often be more accepting than assumed to be.
I'm here if you want to talk, honey <3 take care (*hug*)

 

Hi,

I know from my experience here I would not date a bi.

Fine folks, nothing against them, it is the fence hopping. I have seen enough bi posts here to understand that some/many have shifts in desires.

That is fine, perfect for an open relationship but I do not want that.

It is nothing personal, no bias, simply what I want and working best towards my goals.

I have a good bi friend, but I would not date him. Two divorces under his belt and liasons around and about.

 

I've heard those stereotypes and they just make me laugh. They're so pathetic. I mean, anybody could leave you for anybody else! That's a risk anybody takes when they decide to get involved with someone else. I just don't think I can handle somebody who is that closed-minded. I can certainly understand people who don't want to take a risk with someone who might cheat, leave or both, but that risk is always there, and anybody who can't realize that will be in bigger trouble than everybody thinks when it happens.

 

Hi,

Hated is a strong word.

Take into consideration all the posts here on EC by bisexuals who are partnered, married and in loxe yet express a deep need for a physical change.

I cannot ignore that in partner shopping.

Nothing wrong with that if acceptable to both members of the couple.

Some people want convertables some don't. No need to view that as hate.

 

And gay / straight folks don't have shifts in desires? You could be with your dream gay guy, and he might have a 'shift in desire' for another guy, and leave you. How would you feel about that? Or is it more distressful if a guy left you for a woman? If so, may I ask, what exactly is the difference? Either way, you get dumped. What difference does it make who you got dumped for??

---------- Post added 16th Apr 2015 at 07:59 PM ----------

How sad. I like and accept all LGBT folk, but it is becoming evident to me that maybe they don't fully accept me. Maybe my best prospects will be either a straight girl, or another bisexual, either male or female. But it seems that quite a few gay guys don't trust us bi's?

When I finally look into the eyes of one I love, whether they be a guy or a girl, I will feel that same connection that all lovers feel, whether gay, straight or bi. It will be as real and as enduring as we both make it. And if it's real and enduring, I will not be looking around. I'm not some slut. I am into the person I'm with. Like most decent folks, whatever their orientation. For God's sake. Really, we are just like everyone else.

 

Hi,

This is not about L-G-B- OR -T it is about what people want as individuals.

Things appeal or detract to every individual. A million different things. If I told you that your partner should have green hair and you do not like green hair...

I do not hate bisexuals simply not my individual preference.

If people cannot understand individual preference/choice and define individual choice as hate... That is why LGBT is treated as it is by straights.

 

I understood you perfectly...

 

Never mind the ignorant stereotypes. I am proud of who I am, and have every right to be. I am bisexual, and have been my entire life, and it has never changed. I know who I am, I know who I am attracted to, and I have already shown myself to be capable of a lifelong commitment to a single person. I am monogamous, and will always be so. Cheating is for cheaters only, but that is something you can tell people until you are blue in the face, and they won't get it. I don't want to be with anyone too ignorant to get who I am. They are missing out - but I can tell you for sure, *I* am not, because someone who puts people into narrow categories rather than getting to know them as individuals is someone not worth a minute of my time. Between that person and myself, I have no doubts I am the better catch!

Much love to you, we are a community no matter who outside of us gets us! But I do know people who get it, so non-bisexuals are capable and we can't judge them either as a group. We have to give them a chance to show what kind of people they are as individuals too, and some are better catches than others!
(&&&)

 

Hi,

Possibly your perspective on bisexuals being hated (generally) is just wrong.

Just because what I look for in a partner is this or that and not those and them it does not mean I hate those and them.

I do not have stereotypes I have life experience and make choices based on that experience.

I have a bisexual friend; veteran, military itelligence, a great man, would place my life in his hands in a dangerous situation, seen combat and suffers PTSD, a great friend... No chemistry beyond that.

I also have a vegan, gay friend. He thinks meat eaters hate vegans... You hate vegans? I don"t.

 

Hi skiff,
just so you know, I wasn't implying any 'hate' at all...although 'misunderstanding' might be a word that comes to mind. I was just expressing myself, being direct. I appreciate your honesty, and I was just replying with the same. Hope you know that. But as we're both middle-aged blokes, I think we can engage in a bit of verbal jousting without it compromising what I believe is an underlying, mutual goodwill.

I know how you feel. I was kind of with a straight woman once, with seven divorces under her belt, and that didn't exactly inspire confidence that she would stay with me long-term, either, should we have gotten more seriously involved. As things turned out, she left me for another guy - but I guess my point is, it would have hurt just as much if she had left me for a woman instead.

 

As a bi, it always means a lot to me, when I read such a supportive and understanding comment from someone who is gay or lesbian. Thank you

 

I have decided not to let people's opinions on bisexuality bother me any more. To those that won't accept me, date me or befriend me based on me being bi I say thank you. I have relationship preferences too and mine is to be with someone smart, funny and open minded. Biphobia is none of these things.

 

I don't believe "preference" is an acceptable reason to discriminate against dating bisexuals, especially since it makes less sense to me than the whole race-based argument. Any time someone tries to justify their "no bisexuals" rule, it comes down to some biphobic stereotype (they're more likely to cheat, they're indecisive, they spread diseases).

With straight men and women, I can understand somewhat where they're coming from, since there's a lot more ignorance and fear from that side (not that I support or condone it), but from a fellow LGB? Disappointing, to say the least.

Oh, and the whole, "I have ___ friends!" totally does not cut it. I wouldn't be friends with someone who tries to justify their biphobia.

 

Hi,

Imagined or inferred biphobia is not a cogent argument simply a slur to make me feel as if I am a hater and do not "belong".

A) I am not a hater
B) Have no fear or angst about "belonging"
C) I never fully listen to arguments where "belonging" is used as a club or weapon

If some bissexuals want to feel hated because people make personal choices that is their issue.

Would you date a homophobe? Why not? Not open minded enough?

Not to change the subject but I would not date a gay man living in the closet either. Been there, done that and will not be part of it again. They have have a great monicor now "discrete".

I do not hate those folks but I am not dating them either. It is a complication I no longer want.