Hi, Lots of threads about how others spoiled people lives and how upset they are over it... You have to give people permissiion to do that. If you shut it down it is powerless. Similarly, you are the only one to give yourself permission to be happy. If you require other's permission to be happy you live at risk. Meditation is a good way to learn this. As you meditate thoughts will arise. Evaluate the thoughts and toss out the bad ones which are not beneficial. You will soon learn the mind produces all kinds of useless thoughts for no good reason. This sorting of thoughts will carry over to non-meditative times and lead to a happier life.
What you say is true if you are an adult and of equal power to the other. However, for younger people, who depend on others, it is truly possible to have someone who makes your life hell and damages you in some way and this is real. It is unfair to suggest that everyone has the ability to not give "permission" to another for spoiling things. Some people don't have the interpersonal skills, maturity, or self-confidence to deflect the pain that come from contact with non caring other people.
Still learning to meditate. It does take practice and patience. I have noticed a change in my demeanor when I do not meditate.
This is true and trying to erase that imprinting that was done at a younger age or before you gave yourself permission to be happy can be more difficult for some as opposed to others, practice does make the task familier and easier to execute though. im still working on this.
Humans do not live in a vacuum. We are social animals and require interactions with each other simply to survive in our current world. To set limits on behavior we have laws. We also have "morals" which tell us how to treat other within the limits of those laws, where the interactions are more arbitrary. It is impossible to escape the effects of this environment on the childhood development process, nor to escape the effects caused by other people's behavior and attitudes towards us in everyday life. To some extent we can ignore and avoid people we don't like, or discount their opinions about us, but doing so sometimes excludes us from essential connections to people who matter in our life, whether it is family, neighbors, teachers, doctors, employers, or in the worst case, police. Some people with deep financial assets have the ability to create the environment they like around them. Most people are pretty much stuck where they are in life to a great degree. Yes, we can ignore people who try to shame us, and pick friends who like us as we are, and be happy with our choices and the results from making them, but it is not as simple as that in other dimensions where we HAVE to interact with other prejudiced people.
