A really good friend told me that he considers himself "a little trans or non binary". I had no idea he was dealing with these feelings, and I'm glad he felt comfortable sharing with me. My question for those who are no binary/trans is what do you consider the difference to be? I know he owns and wears women's clothing but is straight. At this point I haven't asked any questions, I was just trying to be supportive and let him know I am happy to talk. Any suggestions?
I think what he means by "A little trans" is that he doesn't plan on fully transitioning. Also just a note, you can be straight, but also not be cisgender. Those two things have no correlation.
Thank you. I know he has no plans to transition, and I don't doubt that he's straight. He is married (not that that's an indication of straightness), and his wife has known since before they got married. Only a few other friends know. Any specific way you would want support? I know he hasn't dressed female in public yet - is it weird to offer to have dinner at their house so he could be female with other ppl but not in public?
I have always liked wearing womens clothes, especially skirts. Even as a young kid I always was annoyed that girls got to wear skirts and boys didn't. I've never tried to be a female though, I do not feel that I am transgendered at all, I just like the clothes. I thought I was straight for more years than I like to think about, but the truth came out in the end.
He said that sometimes he feels female and sometimes male, so I think it goes beyond cross dressing. I don't know how he feels about pronouns, etc.
First of all, good for you for being a supportive friend. I'm sure it means the world to them (I'm going to use they/them/their pronouns seeing as I'm not sure of your friend's gender ID). I can't speak for your friend but the idea of offering to have dinner with them in girl mode sounds really nice. I told a friend recently that I was gender-questioning and he offered to go out with me all "butched up" - it really meant a lot to me. You could also ask them which pronouns they prefer. More generally speaking, I think it's just really helpful to let them know you're supportive and open to talking about it if and when they want to (i.e. exactly what you're already doing). I wouldn't push the issue but it might be worth gently bringing it up again at some point, if they don't do it first. Maybe your friend is different, but for me, I kind of need other people to draw things like that out of me a bit, otherwise I feel like they're not really interested in talking about it.
