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I want her

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Gingerlili, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Gingerlili

    Gingerlili Guest

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    I have a huge crush on a coworker; I know it's a bad idea. I've felt this way for over a year however, I can't seem to be able to get her out of my mind. Our interactions are weird, I have the feeling that she knows but won't say anything because we work together. I called her office line yesterday and asked if I could speak with her at some point during the day. She responded by asking if I wanted her to come to my office and I said no that I would find her. Couple hours later she saw me in the hall and yelled my name. I held my breath...
    She randomly thanked me for something that I had done earlier on the day. Like a dork I just stood there, said your welcome and practically ran down the hall when she was finished.Do you think that she was waiting for me to say something? I'm so confused! I admire her confidence, she's gay and doesn't care who knows it. Even if I can't have her I would really like to be her friend. Any advice?
     
  2. bi2me

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    Try to be yourself. Since she's out, maybe ask her to coffee/wine and pick her brain about what that was like for her to come out.
     
  3. Miss PH fan

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    Yeah, I agree with bi2me, ask her to coffee so you two can chat. Thus you'll get to know her a bit more. Maybe she's not even available, maybe she is... :thumbsup:
     
  4. Biotech49

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    Does she know you are? Get to know here via coffee or lunch. It's amazing how much you can learn from out lesbians when you are just beginning our journey. None of my friends were available when I came out to them (all of them lesbians) but they certainly taught me a lot about relationships and such.
     
  5. Gingerlili

    Gingerlili Guest

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    Thanks for the feedback...
     
  6. my advice is that you should not date people at work.
    also having a crush for over a hear is not healthy and borderline obsessing.
    i think you should work on being friends with her and sounds as though you are closeted at work and possibly you should befriend her to see how you too can be more "i dont give 2 effs what anyone thinks" about your gayness.
     
  7. Gingerlili

    Gingerlili Guest

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    I'm not obsessed however, thanks for your judgement....
     
  8. i have not judgement against you. the bottom line is some situations are healthy and others are not. crushing on someone for over a year is not healthy as it does not allow for the flow of romance to take place. what shall be will be. but would you tell someone to get on the freeway and stay in neutral on the acceleration ramp for a year? probably not. in the highway of love things have to move along to get to their intended destination. whatever destination that will be. for instance, if you like the women this much, ask her out for drinks after work and see if she's is game for it. strike up conversation with her and eventually, say , "hey you seem really cool, if you're ever open to getting happy hour after work, let me know. would be fun.". bottom line, you have to say something or make a move or you'll still be crushing over her a year from now while she is living her life. she could say "yes sure, that would be great." she could blow you off and ignore you. she could do a ton of things but you'll never know if you do not take some sort of action. standing in neutral for an extended period is not healthy and it is obessive to continually think about something that you do not take any action to resolve. that is not a judgement, it's more of a reality.
     
  9. Gingerlili

    Gingerlili Guest

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    Yeah okay......

    Having a crush on someone is not the same as being obsessive! Many have had crushes for years and never act on them. It's only been about 4 months since I've come to terms with who I am. You've totally missed the mark on what I was trying to convey in my post. Word of advice; please do not use terms unless you truly understand the meaning!
    As a result I will never post or visit this forum again.

    For those who are truly here for the right reasons. Please know that I received a dozen roses from her 2 days ago on my birthday. We had dinner that evening and it went well. Smart, confident and beautiful!

    I guess we're both obsessed because she's had a crush on me as well.

    Cheers to the future :eusa_clap
     
  10. hibiscus123

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    Best of luck to you! Ignore the negativity and stay strong!
     
  11. PrairieRachel

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    Hi Ginger, take a breath. Walk up to this person. Look them in the eye and tell them..I think you are a wonderful human being!
    It will do you a world of good dear! Trust me on this. Even if it never goes anywhere you faced and did something you thought you couldn't! Go for it. We will be here cheering you on!
    ((((Hugs))))). Rachel
     
  12. bi2me

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    Don't let one person turn you off from a generally very supportive community. Good luck!
     
  13. joannew

    joannew Guest

    I know what you are going through as i'm in the same situation but the other way around!
    I usually go to my local bar but one day when i was waiting to get served i felt someone press up against my bottom and rub their groin into me. When i turned around i was shocked to see a blonde woman smiling at me she said "it's so busy in here isnt it?" when i went home that night i couldn't stop thinking about her. Unfortuately i haven't seen her since but i keep looking out for her hoping we can meet up sometime.
     
  14. Ophelia08

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    Hi Gingerlili.
    As everyone has stated ask her out to coffee. Conversation ideas: ask about gay/lesbian events around town if you are not familiar with area. Ask her if she knows of meetup groups..there are plenty topics of conversations to make it seem a casual outing. Once out and the energy is good and conversation flows then you can make it more personal. Yes she was waiting for you to say something when you saw her in the hall. That was an opportunity for you, i'm sure there will be others :slight_smile:...Good Luck!!