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married and happy,but need to be able to talk to guys who are bi curious too

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by needfriends, May 9, 2015.

  1. needfriends

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    kelowna
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    married for thirty years with kids love my family and wont ever leave them wouldnt want to even at the expense of my own happiness and wholeness of my soul.
    dont want to hurt anyone and wont/
    just tired of living my entire life never expressing my bi curious side with another man or friends...never have told anyone.
    many nights online lonely and feeling like a total looser for living this way but having kids was so important to me and i fell in love with my wife so young.
    i didnt know myself or what i really wanted.
    now i do and its too late.
    fifty yrs old and wont ever be truthful to my family it would break them so i am resigned to a life lived half full.
    would love to have some chats and =online friendships maybe meet someone actually in person one day wow would that be awesomme and feel like i could actually trust someone.
    Sex well never had any with a guy not even a feel or grope as most youngsters do lol
    would love to be able to experiment one day perhaps but until then mr hand will have to do as always lol
    srry crude:dry:
     
  2. bi2me

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    I'm not a guy, but I'm a married bisexual too. Welcome to EC!

    Unlike you, my husband knows, and has known for a long time. I had repressed (or ignored) feelings toward women for many years, and had kind of forgotten about them until last summer. Everything came back with a vengeance. Anyway, happy to chat. :slight_smile:
     
  3. MOGUY

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    Welcome to EC. Very similar path to my own. My wife and I married when I was 19. That was 37 years ago. I have no intention of ever leaving her. I had foolishly thought I could suppress the feelings forever. I came out to her awhile back and although I'm not in a physical relationship with a man, it has helped me to be truthful to her. Feelings of shame and guilt are no longer the issue that it used to be.
     
  4. emma7

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    Hi welcome! :slight_smile:

    Now even though im a lesbian and not married etc im happy to have a chat
     
  5. intro55

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    Not out at all
    Hi, feel free to Pm me, always happy to chat. Am in similar situation.
     
  6. bizzywizzy

    Regular Member

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    I can completely empathise. I am married with two children and no-one knows that I am bisexual. I am finding it very hard at the moment so I understand what you are going through
     
  7. Yossarian

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Find a gay support organization, such as a gay-straight alliance. We have potluck dinner meetings once a month in ours, where you meet gay and bi men and talk to them in a casual and friendly setting. You can present yourself as as gay or straight as you want to. You can make some gay friends and enjoy their company without leaving your family and running off with a guy, or hanging out in a gay bar where people are looking for hookups.
     
  8. needfriends

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Straight but curious
    Thanks so much for the kind replies everyone and I will reply soon as I can to each.

    ---------- Post added 11th May 2015 at 09:34 AM ----------

    Thanks for your reply your fortunate to be able to be so honest with your wife..how did she take it? I can imagine on some level it makes the relationship even better.
    Talk soon..
     
  9. Reddy

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    Location:
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    I am in the same situation. I have been married since 2007 and with my wife since 2002. She recently found out that I am bisexual, although I couldn't tell her that I am leaning more and more gay. I wish I had known more fully then what I know now, but c'est la vie.

    At this point, and with two kids, my feeling is that I could never be away from them. I simply can't accept being a part-time dad, especially when they are only 2 and 5. It is as though my duty to them trumps my own sexual satisfaction and fulfillment, if that is what it is. Of course, the flipside to that is then I force upon my wife a similar life of sexual dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment.

    What a quandary, and one which I see no way out of for the moment.
     
  10. bi2me

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    Reddy, some folks on here have stayed married but opened up the sexual component of their relationship. It's an idea I once would have found repugnant, but it is sounding less crazy and distasteful by the week... My husband isn't open to the ide right now, so, as you said c'est la vie!
     
  11. Shy n confused

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    I am in absolutely same situation as you only i'm in my late thirties. I feel like there must be so many others but have no idea where to meet them. I don't even know if any man would be attracted to me or what type of men i'm attracted to. Would love to meet someone like me and explore.
     
  12. Reddy

    Regular Member

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    Bisexual
    The idea of opening up has not yet really been entertained. I am somewhat open to the idea, although I have no idea if I could make it work. Of course for me, not really into hookups, it would have to be a friends with benefits type of thing. Pretty rare I think.

    Problem is, with each passing day I become more and more inclined to just go and do it, regardless. How long can it last?
     
  13. Bi in MD

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    Friends with benefits is a hard thing to find.
    when you find him, you need to work at keeping him.
    I agree with the hookups, wont do them. biggest reasons are for health, and the lack of emotional connection. The friends part is every bit as important as the benefits part.
     
  14. bi2me

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    Reddy, how long can what last? Your marriage? Your feelings towards men? An affair?

    If you want your marriage to last, cheating is likely only going to harm it.
     
  15. doc

    doc
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    Hi, I'd say PM me if you need to talk but you have to have more than 50 posts and apply to be a full member first :slight_smile: something to work towards
    This is my 17th post so I better start contributing on a more regular basis!