Ok - so question for you all - if you've kept up with my other tread about coming out, you may recall I have a FB - we've seen each other 4 times since February when we met and we text at least 2 x a week sometimes daily. He's given me a lot of advice on coming out as he has been out 10 years. He checks on me to see how things are going and we've kind of established a friendship outside of our time together via our texting the last 5 months. So today I sent a hello txt message - just checking on him as he has been quiet since last Friday morning. He told me its a tough week. Mom passed 1 yr ago and mothers day last weekend, etc. and we will try to get together next week when I return from a business trip. So I was thinking about sending a "hang in there" card in the mail. Is that too much? Would that lead him to think I'm pushing the envelope (no pun intended) on our FB status and growing friendship? Perhaps the fact that I'm having to think about this tells me the answer is - don't send it... By the way - he told me about a month back that he wasn't looking for an exclusive Boyfriend right now but that we can take things a day at a time and see where things go. Thanks for your advice.
Yes, personally it sounds like you guys are more than fuck buddies and moving into friends with benefits part of the relationship continuum. Pick a nice card and send it. No long explanations needed, just an expression of empathy.
Thanks! I purchased one of those funny shoebox cards - simple and more focused on when life is tough.. followed by some funny comment. I kept the message short and brief - hey, sorry to hear your having a rough week - hope this makes you chuckle - just remember, it will get better. Dropped it into the mail last night so he'll get it tomorrow since he lives about 10 miles from me. Appreciate the advice... we'll see ...
Well - your advice was perfect. As I mentioned, I did purchase a card and dropped it in the mail. I got a txt from Mister on Friday - very simple saying - I just checked my mail and got your card. Thank you so much it made me smile. So there you go. Sometimes you have to just listen to your heart - right? Now my bigger questions about Mister and our relationship. You see - I've known Mister now going on 4 months. I may have mentioned some other place that a few months back he told me he wasn't looking for a BF - that we were just FB. OK - no issues. He knows I'm out now. The thing is that we haven't been able to see each other for a month because of our schedules and I can't go out with him whenever since I'm still at home as I've not moved out on my own yet since coming out to wife last month. But I'm confused - a little - if I'm just a FB, why the communication? And by communication I mean text conversations several times a week talking about life - what we are doing, etc. And the txt conversations are not always centered around sex. AT one point he mentioned he's not a big txt person and he is a man of few words - but he continues to txt with me. Since I came out - he txt me weekly - asking me how I am doing - which is nice. I've been traveling the last few weeks - had not heard from him or txt him since last Thursday - and I wasn't going to bother him - didn't want him to feel like I'm a BF - and today - txt - hi there, how are you doing? Wanted to check in with you haven't heard from you in a few days. Which is nice - but I'm confused... I know he is keeping me at arms length given all the drama happening in my life right now - he certainly doesn't want to get in the middle of coming out to wife, etc. I personally think he does want more than just a FB relationship - he's taken things to a personal level - not just a sexual level. Maybe I'm reading into things too much.. At the end of the day, I appreciate that he cares about me - I do hope that he hangs around and sees me once I am moved out (TBD) and have my own place - and I do hope we can start doing things together -- I guess that is called dating?? Sometimes, I worry about losing what we have which would make me sad... Any thoughts???
