i know patience...

Skiff,

You certainly have accomplished quite a bit and have gotten your feet on the ground. There is so much that older generations are working through not having had the benefit of a more open and accepting environment for LGBT that younger generations are experiencing (albeit even they still have challenges). And as we know, as we all get older, we all get set in our ways and it becomes more difficult to think out of the box; leading to difficulties to try and find "the one" which would require an open minded approach amongst a set of people that simply are not capable of being so.

At this point, having what sounds like exhausted your options where you are, have you considered the prospect, to the extent its even financially possible, of moving to a new environment where you have the potential at least to meet new people?

Maybe its not a massive move, maybe its simply to a new neighborhood?

Just food for thought. I am sure you have already contemplated.

 

Skiff
Hang in there. Although I'm not as far down the road as you, I have to agree that my experience before coming out and since I've come out is the same - most gay guys seem to have no depth and are not interested at all in relationships. The thing that KILLS me the most is the immature communication skills. What is it about the communication "game" that gay guys play when they just go silent. It's really simple - if you don't have time to txt/talk then just tell me you don't have time. If you don't want to communicate with me, then just tell me. Stop the silent game.
My personal opinion is that if a guy doesn't have basic communication skills then they are not worth my time.
The point you make about missing emotional intimacy is my biggest fear in coming out - that I will never find a guy who can connect with me emotionally and I will end up a lonely old man.

 

hey Skiff, i live in a town of less than a 1000 people and 0 gay/bi lifestyle choices. im moving to a larger town next year when my son graduates so that we both have better options, jobs for him and, hopefully, dating for me.

 

Hi Tom

I know patience as well. Now at the age of 46, no-one, not a guy nor a girl, seems to show much interest in me (although being severely depressed at present might have something to do with it - I suspect that even when I smile, folks can 'read' the pain hidden in my eyes). Patient to the grave? Absolutely. I am trying to accept that it is possible I will not experience sexual / emotional intimacy again, in this lifetime. I am trying to learn how to nurture myself, to become content just being alone, since that appears to be my fate. But I comprehend the pain. I find it hard to go to bed every night, because lying down yet again, yet again, all alone, always alone, just reminds me all over again of the fact that I have not had an intimate lover (not one that I'm truly close to) in...years...or ever?)

 

i already work in the larger town so, that's not too bad. but there are no opportunities here for him to get a job or me a date right now.

and it makes sense since i do 30 kms to and from each day.

 

Skiff, there is nothing wrong with being a gym rat if that is what will work for you to meet people. It will also make you feel better about yourself to be in better control of your body and appearance, and you will find that exercise does make you feel better physically, not just for looking into the mirror. Even if you don't land any 25 year-old bodybuilders for a date, you can always enjoy the view. There are also some guys there who are your age who still look pretty good and have a lot more interesting personalities than the young kids.

I enjoy playing racquetball with the 20 year-old kids at the college gym I use, and enjoy the respect I get when I kick their asses in the court. Some of them look pretty good with their shirts off. LOL