I think I'm lesbian, but in Heterosexual relationship

I think i have gone throught bit of that same thing. But u shouldnt stay in relationship u arent happy with.. Cuz it always ends bad even if u pretended everything is fine. So are you happy now? Or would you be happier as the person you truly are? With free of choice to love and sleep with the one you love\like. In way you love him but is that enought? I wanted more maybe some distance would give you new view of it all to help you decide what you want to do.

 

I knew because I loved my best friend in a similar way as my boyfriend. Then when I saw her nearly 20 years later, all the feelings came back.

 

I often wish for that, but then we'd lose out on all that we learn along the way.

 

No, it's not your 'fault'. For myself, the feeling I eventually identified was of being so out of place in a heterosexual relationship. I loved my hubby, I still do, but the realization I had to be honest with myself about was that it wasn't what it's supposed to be. Particularly with regards to intimate/romantic feelings.

Can you imagine yourself with this person in ten, twenty years? A lifetime? Or does your mind shy from that thought?

Again, it's not because any things wrong with you, you just need time to be honest with yourself (*hug*)

 

I know I'm still young and stupid but I remember my mom told me something important when she broke up with my dad: A relationship won't work if only one of the two is completely happy. If you aren't satisfied, don't stick around just to please him. If you think you would be happier with someone else, go for it. Don't let anyone else run your life. So yeah, do what you feel is best!~

 

Kira, being young doesn't make you stupid by default. Keep giving out wise advice, and no one will mind if you are young.

 

I'm young as well and very inexperienced in relationships, but I was in once relationship with a guy I didn't like. I wanted to stay with him because I felt bad and I tried really hard to force myself to like him and I learned that you can't force yourself to like someone. The further into the relationship it got, the worse I felt for leading him on, even though I was doing it to make him feel better. That's the thing - you may be staying with this guy out of selflessness because you don't want to hurt his feelings but the guilt is still there because you're not being honest with him and you know you're not happy.
When I was with this guy I knew that if I didn't end it as soon as possible I would just get more and more stuck. So what I did was I talked to some close friends about it and they encouraged me to break up with him and made me feel better about it. It was really hard to do and I knew he'd be disappointed but that it would be better to do it sooner rather than later and once it was done I felt so much better.
If you break up with your boyfriend, he will likely be sad about it but if you are honest with him I'm sure he'd understand and with time he'll feel better and so will you. If he knew the situation you were in, he wouldn't want you to feel this way because he would want you to be happy in the same way that you want him to be happy. The fact that you care about his feelings and if he's happy says a lot and it's not your fault if you're not happy. If you don't love him, that's not you're fault. The important part is that you care and he cares about your happiness too.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck!

 

I can understand your dilemma a bit...I don't feel totally happy in my relationship but I have 21 years that we have built our lives together...I have three beautiful children to think about...I have the money situation! Where am I going to go? I don't have family in England and I don't want to leave England! This is my home. I can't ask him to leave as I'm the one choosing out. I go back and forth within myself. I wish there was an easier way out.
Maybe for you there is. Not sure really. It seems you have maybe up your mind you just need to let him know how you feel. It is better for him to suffer now than in 5 years time!
Go for it!!

 

My advice is to try a threesome when you are not drunk. Find out how much you enjoy being with a women while you are still with him then if you enjoy it and have preference of female anatomy over men you should break up with him. If you enjoy both female and make anatomy then I guess you could keep having the occasional threesomes or maybe see if he wants an open relationship. That's my "safe" suggestion. Try before you break hearts.

 

Good on you!

 

Hre is my take on your situation. I was married 17 years to a man. I always knew I was a lesbian for many reasons, but I got married because I wanted a family, and I did that, had three wonderful children. Greatest time in my life. All through my life I knew I did not want to be married to my husband anymore, but needed to take care of my children. I went looking for women when i discovered the internet, and had the ability to meet girls. My relationship was shakey, and we were fighting all the time. So I decided it was time, the children were older and I knew I could take care of them. So I found a friend, and I did divorce my husband and explained to my children I had to do this, and they have been fine with it. I have had a great relationship with my new partner, she has been fantastic. No mistake leaving my husband, have never regretted it, except he had money, and man I have wished at times that I stayed with him, since I am definitely not doing well in the money department, but good enough. So before you go, make sure that you are willing to live in some hardship, because women don't make as much money as men do, and it will be more difficult to support yourself. When you get older, you will wish you had someone that can help you be more successful in the money dept. And in saying that money is not the focus of my relationship, just wish I had more of it, And make sure your willing to open possibility to open relationship. Lesbians have a tendancy to play around. This has been my only problem with my partner, Im not her one and only. She likes to play. I do not. But getting upset just creates fights, and its not worth it. So yes, its been far happier with my partner, than ever with my husband, but sure miss that money. The biggest difference in my relationship is my husband was a supporter, never felt he needed to give me any time or do anything with me, long story, and my female partner has been a friend, and we spend alot of time being together, doing things, dinner, vacations, and going places together. So as friendship goes, the lesbian relationship has been better.