I'm a middle aged guy and have had three long term heterosexual relationships - I also have two kids, one of each, both teenagers After my last divorce (sexuality wasn't a direct cause although I was in a casual homosexual relationship while I was married) I had several homosexual relationships, most short. I have never been in love with someone of the same sex, although I have been in love with many women. I find naked men a lot more arousing than naked women though. As I get older, the whole prospect of coming out gets harder. People I've known for years expect me to be a certain kind of a guy - and I'm just not! So who the hell should I be today???
Be who you want to be. Do whatever feel right. You are under no obligation to conform to other people's "standards", and in this day and age, they shouldn't care.
Hey Huggie, welcome to EC! You have asked the most fundamental question of all, and it is the most terrifying. What is happening to you has happened to us...we became ourselves, and the hardest part of that is letting go. That means letting go of who you thought you were, letting go of any concern about what others may think, and letting go of the past. You ask us who you should be, that is both easy to answer and hard to do: be yourself, and live with yourself with integrity, so that what you are on the inside matches what you are on the outside...us gay guys: it's all about what matches!
I went to a social event earlier this week attended by several thousand people. I brought my boyfriend with me. I was simply myself, for everyone to see. I did not give it a second thought. I am whom I am......
I'm sure I'll get there - I'm having a tough time convincing myself right now. I've told a few female friends that I'm gay and they're good with it but my oldest friends and kids? Hmmmm...harder!