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Friend Zone?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by 99701, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. 99701

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    I've gone out a couple of times with this guy I met online, once for a nice dinner and once for lunch. I thought we were really connecting, but in a message to me today, he said "hello my friend". Is it too soon to tell or is this a sign that he is not as into me as I am him?
     
  2. Atieno

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    How many dates have you gone on?

    I went out with a guy a few years ago and he used to call me "my friend", it was a sign of growing affection. He never could really get to the point of saying "I love you", but we ended up in a relationship and he displayed his affection quite openly and warmly, butyet still I got texts to "my friend".

    It used to irk me, but then some people just aren't comfortable with terms like partner, boyfriend etc....

    Equally it could just be a sign of increasing affection and if you give him time, it may grow.

    Honestly my advice, go on a few more dates: you'll know for sure then if he's interested or if he just wants to be friends.
     
  3. Yossarian

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    Yes, it is too soon. Don't parse text quite so critically. Things that would be casual if spoken read differently in text.
     
  4. Foz

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    Gay friend zone? That's new to me! But yes, I'd say it is too soon, don't read so directly into things. When I text mates I sometimes start with "Yo nigga" even though they're white! it's just another way of saying hi!
     
  5. OnTheHighway

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    Text messages are so often misinterpreted, and one needs to be very careful both writing and reading them. As a text is written, the sender might think his emotions are being reflected in the text, when the receiver just reads words on a page. Or the receiver might be adding emotional context to a text where the sender never intended it.

    When you are on the phone, you can hear not only the words, but the way words are spoken. When you are with someone in person, you can see facial expressions the coincide with the message being delivered. But text messages have none of that.

    Food for thought.
     
  6. 99701

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    Thank you all for the reality check. This is all so new to me, I know I'm over analyzing everything. I wish I could talk to him on the phone, rather than e-mail, but he doesn't like to do that. He doesn't even have a cell. I guess I just need to be patient and see where this goes.
     
  7. MOGUY

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    99701,
    Please forgive me if you've mentioned this in earlier posts: my question is how long have you been out to yourself? It's my understanding that when we finally accept ourselves, we often go through an "adolescent" period. Even when the coming out takes place later in life. I know I experienced this in my early 50s. I tried to read between the lines of the text messages and fretting a lot. Thank goodness it settled down.
     
  8. 99701

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    I've always known I was gay (I've never been with a woman), just never dated before now. I only had casual sex.