I made it a personal goal to come out to as many people as possible in 2015. I thought to myself, "Ok, you're 30 years old now. It's time to be who you want to be and come out as your true self. Consequences be damned." And I'm happy to report that I met my goal already. I have told everyone in my life. Everyone is supportive and wonderfully understanding. And that makes me so happy! I'm free to be me and live my life how I want to now. It's awesome! My motto this year is 'Stand in Your Own Truth.' I couldn't be more proud of myself and all the people in my life that accept me for who I am. There's just one thing.. I have kept my secret of being bi inside for so long that now that it's no longer a secret I feel.... strange. Maybe even a little empty. It's as if I miss having my secret. I didn't expect to feel this way after coming out. I'm so confused by this. Has anyone ever felt this? Can anyone give me advice?
That makes sence to me. Change is hard..even good change. What we did "before" will have a certain charm to us. Good luck and keep smiling.
Thank you both for your posts. I can't tell you how relieving it is to know that it makes sense to at least you, floridagal1. bi2me - It's tough to describe the feeling. It's more like that I feel like a special, and only known to me, part of me is gone.. and that's what I miss. Also, I find it very strange to not ALWAYS be thinking of my secret and wanting to come out all the time. The stress of all of that is gone and.... I don't know what to do with my thoughts anymore. It's as if there is an empty spot in my head now. Do you think I could have been 'addicted' the the stress of it all? Or, addicted to the rush I felt while coming out to my friends and family? And now that I don't have that I'm coming down off my rush and feel a longing for it again? God, that might be it!
since you came out quickly, your mental habits that are used to keeping that secret need time to adjust, just a thought. congrats on doing it so quickly by the way. maybe you could fill it up with pride at your accomplishment.
Addicted to stress? Probably not. Used to the stress. Maybe use.It's just that you are into a new normal. The old normal probably tends to seem more comfortable
Once the secret is out, you no longer control it. It is quite true that for every gain there is a loss, or price. Conversely, this loss of control is a bit of an illusion, you can't lose what could not be possessed, you are now the same inside and out, rejoice!
This! Its like the feeling that you have after you accomplished a very big goal. If the last couple of years your focus and worry was mainly coming out and dealing with all of those feelings, then once you are done its like....no what? That's the empty feeling you have. So, get yourself another goal. Explore what else is it that you want to accomplish personally. What else is a challenge that you want to conquer? Hard questions for sure, but you'll get it :eusa_clap
Thank you so much greatwhale. I've read many of your comment on EC. You're a wise person. I very much value what you said. It makes total sense. And Smurf -- Thank you for understanding! You get me, too! I DO need to set need goals for myself. Thank you for your valuable insight.
