First real date with a guy this week....

Hey! Take it easy. Relax. You don't have to be perfect at first try. Good luck!

 

Being scared means you care about how it turns out. But don't put extra pressure on yourself. If you worry too much about doing or saying the "right" things, you won't be able to be your natural self or enjoy the moment.

 

Here is a really easy way to approach it. a) be yourself, b) be honest, c) don't try and be something your not. If you click with him based on the above, its a great start. If for some reason it does not work, better to know it now and progress to someone else.

 

Hey cyclops79,

As a bi-married in the closet (in the process of coming out, but that's a different story), I was never into the NSA scene. As such I prefer FWB with some emotional attachment. My first FWB attempt was a disaster but also a learning experience. I had met a guy with way more m2m experience. I saw the potential and I sent him 3 emails over the weekend expressing the potential. He didn't appreciate this email storm, and let me know in no uncertain terms that I was acting like a giddy 13 year old school girl. Needless to say this didn't work out.

As I tried to understand this, I learned there is a sexual maturation process as we come to terms with our sexual identity with the same sex that is much like a second adolescence. The fact that you are aware of it puts you ahead of the game. If you feel yourself slipping into infatuation mode after your date and things went well, you may want to be transparent with your date about your situation. If he's a keeper, he'll understand and be supportive. Most importantly relax and the enjoy the date. It's your reward for having the honesty to come out.

HTH

 

Hey cyclops79,

The first time you make out with a guy for whom you have feelings, you will quickly discover what's been missing in your relationships with women.

I play golf. When I worry about trying to hit a good tee shot in golf, I flub it more often than not. When I focus on the golf swing, I usually make better shots. Be sure to focus on the journey and not the outcome.

Good luck and let us know how the date goes.

 

What is a first date? A very loaded term with a myriad of preconceptions.

Call it "hanging out" and it is totally different.

 

Good luck with it and try to relax! I can't wait to be able to attempt to do that and I'm sure I'll be scared shitless too. Keep us updated, hope it goes well

 

Good luck! Good grief, I envy you...

 

Man, sounds fun. I hope he's hot and you tear each others' clothes off a the first opportunity.

 

Try and relax, also I think of dates or meet ups with different guys as a test run for the real thing when you meet the guy you really want. I guess we all hope the first one works out well so you don't have to waste so much time finding the right guy.

 

I can relate to your situation completely. Had my first date just a few weeks ago. I quickly found out I was worrying for nothing as we were very comfortable with each other right away. Hope it goes as well for you.

 

This whole thing lives inpeoples heads.

 

Quit thinking of it as a "date", and think of it as getting together with another guy for dinner, or a show, or whatever two people both like to do. Focus on what you are doing instead of each other. If he likes seeing you do what you enjoy, and you like doing it with him, then you can both say you had a good date. And for heavens sake, don't treat it like some kind of "interview", asking him a bunch of questions. It is two people getting together for some fun at the same location, not a police interrogation.

 

That sounds like a good perspective to help calm your nerves (at least a bit!)

 

Yep, sounds like a perfect evening!

 

Yay!!!