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what does it take to graduate EC?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by skiff, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    What is your opinion?

    Mine... It takes a willingness to rethink, to reconsider your beliefs. To unpack your baggage and toss the nonsense. Being stuck, rigid unwilling to change, grow and risk and progress stops.
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    I have been thinking the same thing Skiff. For me, I believe I am on a journey of self identity. I am not sure when or if the journey will ever end. But the further I progress on the journey, the notion of "graduating" becomes more defined.

    And I am not sure how I feel about that :slight_smile:
     
  3. SiennaFire

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    I reject the question for it implies that EC is a goal to be achieved with specific completion criteria.

    How do you graduate from church?

    We are on a journey. EC is a community where we share the journey together.
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    I am not so sure it should be viewed upon negatively. If you compare it to attending therapy sessions, when there is no longer a feeling by the patient that the sessions are necessary, its a sign that the patient has reached a point of comfort with whatever the underlying issue might have been.

    I see it as a positive achievement (not sure how Skiff was referencing it, will let him speak to that).

    That said, I do agree with you that it is a journey and one which sharing with everyone on EC is profoundly helpful. And I am making friends along the way.

    I do not want to lose that :slight_smile:
     
  5. Choirboy

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    I think of EC as support, like a crutch or an ace bandage. As you heal you need it less and less, or else you show up more because you see others that need you to lean on, rather than needing some to lean on yourself. If the pain or uncertainty flares up, you may return for a little support, or else you offer support to people who are still learning to walk without the crutches. I don't know that you graduate. You simply don't need it as much, or at all, anymore. You may get very close to the nurses in the oncology ward while you're going through chemo, and you don't forget them, but once the hair grows back and the cancer is gone, you may or may not keep in touch, because it's not as needed.

    Of course now and then some of us fall in love with someone else in the ward.....
     
  6. Yossarian

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    You don't graduate EC, you use it like you would use someone seated next to you on an airplane, completely anonymous, with experience that might be applicable to a particular problem you might be having. Then you get off the plane, and go deal more directly with the problem, using the suggestions you might have heard. Only difference, you can get back on the plane, and the same guy is sitting there next to you, and maybe someone new too.
     
  7. Lyana

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    Hm.
    I hadn't thought of EC as something you "graduate" from. I suppose some people come here looking for advice and support, and when they no longer need it, they leave. And that's their graduation: they can stand on their own two feet and they've grown up. But that's only for those who needed EC in the first place. Others are here mostly to give support and enjoy themselves.

    I don't need EC, I just like it a lot, so I hope I don't ever "graduate." It would be like graduating from Facebook. ^^
     
  8. OnTheHighway

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    Well now, that seems to be a similar notion expressed in the movie "Flight Club". Loved that concept!
     
  9. SiennaFire

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    1st RULE: You do not talk about EC.
    2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about EC.

    :lol:
     
  10. OnTheHighway

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    :roflmao:
     
  11. greatwhale

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    The only thing I can think of resembling "graduation" would be promotion to staff, but that is not the goal of EC, it is first and foremost a forum of support for a common problem: self-discovery and negotiating the tricky path toward full acceptance and hopefully, loving relationships.

    I have gone through the proverbial "stages of the cross", but at this point, I am more concerned with helping others go through our common struggle of coming out and starting a new life. This in not entirely altruistic, it helps me to more quickly and more thoroughly become who I am in less time. So I have stuck around.

    Maybe also it's because I'm a father, the kind that yearns to impart some of the things I have learned...in any case it is definitely the father-feeling that I have for so many here, of whatever age, who need some kind of guidance and some reassurance that it does get better. So, in a certain way I have graduated to a sense of being comfortable with being gay and to a sense of responsibility and gratitude to those brave souls in the past who paved the way for us to be able to feel comfortable being who we are.

    So in a sense, I have graduated. Today, I am proud to be gay, happy that I am living my truth, grateful to be living in this extraordinary moment in LGBT history, and eager to help others on that difficult, but rewarding path.
     
  12. Yossarian

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    3rd RULE: If this is your first time here, you HAVE to fight.

    Life is short and dangerous; nobody gets out of here alive; get with the program; a happy life is the best revenge to the assholes who hate you.
     
  13. tscott

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    Well said, greatwhale
     
  14. SiennaFire

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    Love the sentiment !!!

    BTW, the official third rule actually has to do with going limp :dead: so I stopped at 2nd RULE.

    3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
     
  15. Camel

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    I take all the points made about EC note being something you graduate from, but I also think I know where Skiff is coming from. As a freshman, graduation seems a long way off. But I hope (to continue the North American academic analogy) that at some point I will get to make a valedictory speech!
     
  16. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    I was not indicating EC was something to get beyond, but sooner or later the closet should be empty and forgotten as far as a state of being.

    Anybody here a while... It gets painful that the world continually delivers people to EC with no end in sight.
     
  17. OnTheHighway

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    Well, at least there is a place to go while everyone moves past marriage equality and now focuses on anti-discrimination rights, which I believe is where the real progress is made such that the need gets eliminated!
     
  18. greatwhale

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    Seen in that light, the question should be: What will it take for the world to graduate to a more diverse, accepting and loving place, free of fear and prejudice?
     
  19. Lindsey23

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    I see it a little differently...People who are hurting come to EC and EC helps relieve their pain. And helps them on the road to acceptance. It is doing a great service to those who visit. LGBT's have always existed but we haven't always had a place to go to better understand ourselves. EC provides that community, so the more people who come the better. It isn't painful, it's encouraging. Lives are being changed for the better.
     
  20. BMC77

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    In my case, I keep getting held back each year because dang it! I can't do a good job of coloring inside the lines. :lol: