Ever since I discovered that I liked women, it has caused problems in my relationships with men. And just recently, my boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks that I am in love with my female best friend. I will admit that I have been hanging out with her a lot, but what he doesn't know is that we just started talking again after a falling out that occurred in 2013. So, I guess you could say that I am making up for loss time. Well, the other night, he suddenly accused me of cheating on him with her, which is untrue, but it's because I'm bisexual. I am hurt, upset and just disappointed because I thought everything was okay between him and I. Not to mention he isn't the first guy that I have been in a relationship with who has accused me of cheating. And it is solely based on my sexuality, which is something that I have no control over. Maybe I should just let go and not fight for my relationship, but we both love each other. I know he loves me because he told me; should I mention why I have been spending so much time with my friend? I mean, he's met her, so why I introduce him to someone I'm secretly sleeping with. We hardly see each other because he recently moved to a different city and with work and everything else, it's hard to spend time together. It just sucks because I was going to surprise him today and go see him, but he ruined it. Any advice is greatly appreciated...thanks :tears:
I am sorry you are being accused of cheating. it's an unfair accusation, and one that can be rooted in bi phobia. I do have feelings for my best friend (we also had a period of time in which we didn't talk), but I've been open about it with my husband. He trusts me not to cheat, and I'm keeping up my end of that arrangement. If your boyfriend won't be able to trust you, that's really on him, not you. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was going to accuse me of cheating. There's no way to win that argument, aside from him hiring a private investigator or something. You probably need to have that conversation if you want to get back together. It's not possible to prove a negative; all you can prove is that he hasn't caught you yet. It's also worth exploring if you would want to have a more open relationship. Up until this past year, I could never have thought about it, but now I do. For me, forever is starting to feel like a really long time to go without being with a woman.
Hey, thanks for the advice. Well, I decided to call him to figure out why he feels the way that he does. He thinks it's "weird" that my friend and I spend so much time together, but I don't see the problem. He asked me what would I think if he spent every day with his friend. I told him because I trust him, I wouldn't think anything of it. So, pretty much, he's upset because I haven't spent any time with him, but he lives kinda far. And with work, kids etc it's hard to make the drive out to see him. I'd love to have an open relationship, but he broke up with me, so yeah. I am hurt, but perhaps it's for the best; only time will tell.
obviously I don't know either of you, so this is wildly speculative on my part. perhaps he was so quick to accuse you of cheating because he may have done so himself and this gave him an out without having to admit anything. I'm not saying you should ring him up and ask, I merely bring this up because as out there as it is, if something like this was true you'd be much better off without him. I've been cheated on myself more than once, and it's not something one gets over quickly, at least I certainly can't. if he did do something he's trying to get away with, finding out will bring you closure more easily than blaming yourself or obsessing over it. at least that's my 2 cents worth.
I guess give it some time and see if he comes back. You could always try to work out an open relationship if you get back together.
Hey, thanks for your 2 cents, I really appreciate it. I've thought that maybe he did cheat on me, and that's why he's accusing me all of a sudden. If anything, he's helped me realize that he's not the one for me. I honestly prefer to be with a woman, so while it does hurt, I need to be honest with myself :icon_redf ---------- Post added 13th Jun 2015 at 10:42 AM ---------- I'm not sure if he will be okay with an open relationship, but I could always ask him. We were friends before we started hooking up and made it official. So, I guess being his friend isn't such a bad thing even though I love him romantically :icon_sad:
so the question I'd ask now is, after accusing you of cheating and breaking up with you over it, has he even tried to be your friend, or did he just cut you off? also, if he says he'll only be with just you and isn't open to the idea of being part of an open relationship, can you just be his friend, or will you say you can be so you'll still be near him and possibly try and win him back?
