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how to reach out to other gay men for friendship

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by SiennaFire, Jun 14, 2015.

  1. SiennaFire

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    I'm still in the closet with the door open, approaching the threshold. I'm out to my support network and bi friends, and I'm engaging a therapist who will help me come out to my wife and son. I'm discussing LGBT issues with my support network via my non-aliased email.

    The best time to build a career network is before you need it. While my bi- friends have been very supportive, I find myself ready to reach out to members of the LGBT community in my area for friendship (the type without benefits) and support. This will become easier once I walk over the threshold.

    Other than CL, are there other good ways to meet fellow gay men for friendship and support, given that I'm early in the coming out process?


    Thanks!
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    I had asked a very similar question and over time have developed my own approach based on what worked or did not work for my area.

    Like dating, it's all based on the numbers. The more avenues you go down the more likely hood to meet similarly minded people.

    So, what did I do? Try the following:

    1. Get involved in local LGBT philanthropic groups. I stared participating with two different groups in the UK;
    2. Consider researching and joining a social club. I found and joined a dinner club that meets a few times a month at different venues;
    3. Check and see if there are local sports leagues that match what you like. While I stopped participating at this point, I do find one that was aimed at a sport I enjoy (there was a massive number for me to choose from)
    4. Not sure of your field of practice, but in my industry, there are groups dedicated to LGBT professionals. I had attended various events to meet people.

    Clearly this is all based on what's available where you live.

    Interesting, as time has progressed, I have found myself less interested in participating in all the various options and have narrowed it down to a limited few where I can dedicate the time.

    Good Luck!
     
  3. SiennaFire

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    Thanks for the advice OnTheHighway. Like with most aspects of my journey, sounds like I'll need to take baby steps to figure out what works.
     
  4. Chip

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    Excellent ideas from OnTheHigway. I'd add look for meetup.com groups, as there are often many lgbt groups in Meetups in most area.

    Craigslist platonic friends is a mixed bag and a lot of people have had very mixed luck there. Sometimes you can meet good people, but increasingly recently it's turned into another dating thing... Apparently no one knows what 'platonic' means.
     
  5. SiennaFire

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    Thanks for the suggestion about meetup Chip! I'm trying the platonic friends route on CL to start with, so thanks for the word of caution.
     
  6. BiBiBaybee

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    Well, Boston Pride was over yesterday, but here is their website anyway; note they have other events throughout the year if you want to be involved:
    Boston Pride

    You might find a meetup in here:
    Calendar - The Rainbow Times | Boston LGBT Newspaper Serving New England | Gay News : The Rainbow Times | Boston LGBT Newspaper Serving New England | Gay News

    There is an organization called Husbands Out to Wives (HOW) that has some local chapters near where you live: How to Join the List | Husbands Out to Their Wives

    There are also support groups with names like Married and Gay. There is one in Boston and one in Hartford. At least one of them advertises on CL, but the ad is deceptive - look for a title including the word support.